Skip to content
Catholic Online Logo

By Theresa Bonopartis

5/4/2014 (5 months ago)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

In the beginning of healing we who have participated in an abortion are so -self- centered. We find it hard to move beyond anything but our own view of ourselves, incapable of believing what we have done, or beating ourselves up more than anyone else possibly could.

This spring, my son Joshua whom I aborted, would have been 44 years old. Hard to believe. I was 17 at the time of my abortion and at the end of my 4th month of pregnancy. Coerced and abandoned by my family, I gave in to the pressure to abort because I felt I had no other choice. It was pre Roe vs. Wade, but abortion was legal in the state of New York, in fact, my abortion occurred at a local hospital, the same place where I would later give birth to my two living sons on the same maternity ward where I participated in the death of my first son, Joshua. As Mother's Day approaches, I know there are countess women out there whose abortion connectors are going off like fireworks. It seems on Mother's Day there is no place to hide from the pain of having participated in an abortion whether you were coerced or it was what you perceive as freely chosen. The accusatory voices inside and outside of your head scream at you a little louder as the world celebrates the gift of being a mother, a gift you refused to accept.

Theresa Bonapartis

Theresa Bonapartis

Highlights

By Theresa Bonopartis

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

5/4/2014 (5 months ago)

Published in U.S.

Keywords: abortion, post-abortive, Lumina, Rachels Vineyard, Mother of Mercy, Healing, Divine Mercy, sisters of life, Theresa Bonopartis


BRONX,NY (Catholic Online) - This spring, my son Joshua whom I aborted, would have been 44 years old. Hard to believe. I was 17 at the time of my abortion and at the end of my 4th month of pregnancy. Coerced and abandoned by my family, I gave in to the pressure to abort because I felt I had no other choice. It was pre Roe vs. Wade, but abortion was legal in the state of New York, in fact, my abortion occurred at a local hospital, the same place where I would later give birth to my two living sons on the same maternity ward where I participated in the death of my first son, Joshua.

As Mother's Day approaches, I know there are countess women out there whose abortion connectors are going off like fireworks. It seems on Mother's Day there is no place to hide from the pain of having participated in an abortion whether you were coerced or it was what you perceive as freely chosen. The accusatory voices inside and outside of your head scream at you a little louder as the world celebrates the gift of being a mother, a gift you refused to accept.

I can particularly remember two occasions of Mother's Day; one before my return to the church, the other after. The first one found me after my marriage, wandering aimlessly around the streets of my town, pushing my two sons in a carriage. I was crying and filled with excruciating pain, but unable to make the connection to my abortion in any profound way.  Sure I knew I had a son missing, but it was not so clear to me that on this day of celebration, that was the cause for all my grief. I was after all, still walking around in the most welcomed state of denial, and society did its best to be sure I stayed there, denying any such thing as post abortion trauma, something still going on to this day in spite of countless women who have come forth to prove otherwise.

The second occasion came once I had confessed my abortion and returned to church and the sacraments. Through the grace of God, my fog was gently being lifted, as I was honestly looking at my abortion experience through the light of God's love and the mercy He was constantly showing me.

Little by little, I was unfolding the circumstances that led up to my abortion, feeling safe to do so because I truly believed in God's love and forgiveness for me. Still, when I heard the request of the parish priest for all moms to stand up during mass for a round of applause it left me feeling like a hoax. Sure I had two living kids, but I did not deserve any praise. I had killed my own child. I did not want to stand, but then I was afraid it would draw more attention to myself and I would be "found out", so, fighting against all that was in me, I joined all the other moms in receiving praise from the congregation for our vocation as mothers. I can, to this day remember feeling totally mortified, and thinking, "if they only knew".

In the beginning of healing we who have participated in an abortion are so "self" centered. We find it hard to move beyond anything but our own view of ourselves, incapable of believing what we have done, or beating ourselves up more than anyone else possibly could. 

I do not think it is a coincidence that Mother's Day occurs in the same month where we celebrate Mary, Our Mother of Mercy. Although most of us have probably struggled with out relationship with her (after all, Mary said "yes" to God while we said no), she is also a reminder of His great love for us. It is through her that God sent Jesus into the world for the remission of our sins, and she freely chose to accept her vocation as mother of us all, even knowing we were responsible for her sons suffering. It is through her loving guidance that we become able to move the focus from "self", and what we have don,e to Jesus and what He has done for us.

This past Divine Mercy Sunday, at the canonization of Popes John Paul II and John the XXIII, Pope Francis reminded us," The wounds of Jesus are a scandal, a stumbling block for faith, yet they are also the test of faith. That is why on the body of the risen Christ the wounds never pass away: they remain, for those wounds are the enduring sign of God's love for us. They are essential for believing in God. Not for believing that God exists, but for believing that God is love, mercy and faithfulness. Saint Peter, quoting Isaiah, writes to Christians: "by his wounds you have been healed" (1 Pet 2:24, cf. Is 53:5)."

So, while we need to grieve our children, we also need to look at the "enduring sign", of the wounds of Christ. A sign present to us in the here and now. We need to believe " that God is love, mercy and faithfulness", and that Mother's Day being honored in the same month as Mary, our mother of Mercy, is no coincidence, but instead a gift given to us at the foot of the cross, where she stands with us to this day reminding us that by his wounds we too have been healed.

-----
Theresa is the Director of Lumina/Hope & Healing After Abortion, a post abortion ministry under the arm of Good Counsel Homes, founded by Chris Bell and Rev Benedict Groeschel, CFR.  With the Sisters of Life, Theresa also co-developed the healing ministry, "Entering Canaan, a Sacramental Journey to an Inheritance of Mercy". Along with the Sisters of Life and Friars of the Renewal Theresa conducts retreats for women, and men suffering from abortion as well as siblings of those who have been aborted. She also does public speaking and training to educate on post abortion stress. She can be reached at lumina@postaboritonhelp.org , 877-586-4621 or http://www.postabortionhelp.org





---


Pope Francis: end world hunger through 'Prayer and Action'


2014 - Distributed by THE NEWS CONSORTIUM

Pope Francis Prayer Intentions for October 2014
Peace:
That the Lord may grant peace to those parts of the world most battered by war and violence.
World Mission Day: That World Mission Day may rekindle in every believer zeal for carrying the Gospel into all the world.



Comments


More U.S.

Why Christians Should Celebrate Halloween - and Transform the Culture Watch

Image of Noah dressed up as the Incredible Hulk

By Deacon Keith A Fournier

The International Association of Exorcists sponsored a gathering in Vatican City on the last weekend of October in 2014. The organization was formally approved by the Holy See in June. The global Press was enamored with the notion that the Church even recognizes ... continue reading


VIDEO: Antares rocket launch fails with fire and smoke Watch

Image of The Antares rocket was set to launch on October 27, but was postponed a day because a ship was in its expected trajectory.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

A private contracted, unmanned NASA rocket exploded just after launch along coastal Virginia early on the evening of October 28 . LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - The Antares rocket and Cygnus cargo spacecraft, products of Orbital Sciences Corp., were set to ... continue reading


Catholic, Protestant and Orthodox Christian Leaders Stand in Solidarity to Defend Marriage Watch

Image of Marriage as existing solely between one man and one woman was not an idea manufactured by the Christian Church. It precedes Christianity. Though affirmed, fulfilled, and elevated by Christian teaching, the truth that marriage can exist only between one man and one woman is not based on religion or revelation alone, but on the Natural Moral Law, written on the human heart and discernible through the exercise of reason

By Deacon Keith A Fournier

The Marriage Solidarity Statement was drafted by Deacon Keith Fournier, Founder and Chairman of Common Good Foundation and Alliance, and Mat Staver, Chairman of Liberty Counsel and Liberty Counsel Action. It was vetted among other Christian pastors and leaders ... continue reading


Bill Clinton Panders to Homosexual Activist Human Rights Campaign in Washington, D.C. We Will Resist Them Watch

Image of Pictured: Bill Clinton

This is the same President who, one year after he signed the Defense of Marriage Act, told the Homosexual and lesbian magazine The Advocate - I remain opposed to same-sex marriage. I believe marriage is an institution for the union of a man and a woman. This has been my long-standing position, and it is not being reviewed or considered. So, what has changed? Certainly not the truth about marriage. It cannot and will not change. Rather, this politician has changed. And, his wife wants to be President of the United States.

By Keith A. Fournier

All people of good will who recognize the vital role that marriage and the family play in serving the common good must get ready for what lies ahead. All people of good will who respect free speech, free association and the free exercise of religion must not be ... continue reading


A 'Living legend': Dr. Joseph Medicine Crow, last of the Crow war chiefs, turns 101 Watch

Image of Dr. Joseph Medicine Crow, a living legend at 101, and a renown historian and scholar of the Crow people.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Dr. Joseph Medicine Crow, the last Crow war chief, turned 101 on October 27, and spent the day at the Bighorn Battlefield, with his son. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - "I was fortunate when I was growing up," he said. "The Crow Indians were still retaining the ... continue reading


Former TV reporter says computer was bugged by Obama administration Watch

Image of

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Former President Richard M. Nixon was notorious for the surveillance he used on who he perceived as being enemies - but it appears that current U.S. president, Barack Obama could have taught "Tricky Dick" a thing or two. According to former CBS reporter Sharyl ... continue reading


School shooting in Washington state leaves 2 dead, five injured Watch

Image of Kids and parents react to news of the shooting.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

A shooting has occurred at a school in Washington, in which authorities believe a bullied student shot and killed another. The shooter is also believed to be dead. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - A school shooting has taken place at Marysville-Pilchuck High School ... continue reading


Guns Do Not Have Rights, People Do. Legitimate Self Defense is One of Them

Image of Guns have no rights, only people do.Yes, one of them is the Right to Self Defense - and the Right to defend your neighbor. You may ask,

By Keith A. Fournier

We live in a precarious time in the United States of America. Many of us are deeply concerned about the effort to infringe upon the fundamental rights which were delineated in the Bill of Rights to the United States Constitution. I have written extensively about ... continue reading


Rest in Peace, Msgr. Lorenzo Albacete: Communion and Liberation Priest Enters Eternal Encounter Watch

Image of Msgr. Lorenzo Albacete was a leader in the ecclesial movement called Communion and Liberation. He was also a gifted writer, known for his naturally supernatural holiness of life. Those whom he touched are a living testimony to a life - and a priesthood - which was well lived. In encountering him, they encountered Jesus Christ. That experience is the very heart of the Gospel, the meaning of the Christian claim. It is the key to understanding the Church. It is the spirituality of Communion and Liberation.

By Deacon Keith A Fournier

As we pause to honor Msgr. Lorenzo Albacete, Communion and Liberation Priest, may our prayers accompany him, lighting his passage into the eternal encounter with the Lord whom he loves. Let us also ask for his prayers - and follow his example. Let us decide to ... continue reading


How far will it spread? A New York doctor has tested positive for Ebola Watch

Image of 33-year-old Craig Spencer, a member of Doctors Without Borders, had recently returned to the U.S. after treating Ebola patients in Guinea.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

A New York doctor who had recently returned from Guinea has tested positive for Ebola, the fourth person diagnosed with the disease in the United States. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Craig Spencer worked for Doctors Without Borders where he was treating ... continue reading


All U.S. News

Newsletters

Newsletter Sign Up icon

Stay up to date with the latest news, information, and special offers

Daily Readings

Reading 1, Ephesians 6:10-20
10 Finally, grow strong in the Lord, with the ... Read More

Psalm, Psalms 144:1, 2, 9-10
1 [Of David] Blessed be Yahweh, my rock, who trains ... Read More

Gospel, Luke 13:31-35
31 Just at this time some Pharisees came up. 'Go ... Read More

Saint of the Day

Saint of the Day for October 30th, 2014 Image

St. Alphonsus Rodriguez
October 30: Confessor and Jay brother, also called Alonso. He was born in ... Read More

Inform, Inspire & Ignite Logo

Find Catholic Online on Facebook and get updates right in your live feed.

Become a fan of Catholic Online on Facebook


Follow Catholic Online on Twitter and get News and Product updates.

Follow us on Twitter