Skip to content
Catholic Online Logo

By Heather Piedmont

7/31/2013 (8 months ago)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

From military husbands to Pastor husbands, to true God-fearing husbands, society may scream negatives, but the reality is different

It's 6am on a Monday morning. As I just start to rise, my husband is already showered and shaved, and stands clipping his flight instructor wings to his lapel.  While other men in their mid-30s are quietly accepting their position in life, my husband is working to realize his childhood dream.  He is my hero.  When I think of who my husband is to me, I'm irritated and disturbed by the sour images and negative connotations of "husbands" widely presented in our culture.

In the end, Good husbands do exist and they are not in the minority, nor are they what the media portrays them as. Isn't about time we praise our husbands and declare their worth?

In the end, Good husbands do exist and they are not in the minority, nor are they what the media portrays them as. Isn't about time we praise our husbands and declare their worth?

Article Highlights

By Heather Piedmont

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

7/31/2013 (8 months ago)

Published in Marriage & Family

Keywords: Heather Piedmont, husbands, marriage, good husbands, Christian marriage, love, honor respect, hero, family life


NEW YORK, NY (Catholic Online) - It's 6am on a Monday morning. As I just start to rise, my husband is already showered and shaved, and stands clipping his flight instructor wings to his lapel.  While other men in their mid-30s are quietly accepting their position in life, my husband is working to realize his childhood dream.  He is my hero. 
 
When I think of who my husband is to me, I'm irritated and disturbed by the sour images and negative connotations of "husbands" widely presented in our culture. Comedians, especially female, talk about husbands as a consistent pain in their necks who, if not following certain rules, are somehow broken.  Our television shows are no better.  From The Haves and the Have Nots to The Good Wife, men are presented as philandering, incompetent, weak and narcissistic cheating liars who care about nothing more than power and what they want - until they get caught.

Even reflections of female focused empowerment texts -- such as Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In  -- attack both husbands and the need for them.  One response to Sandberg stated that in order to really get ahead, marry another woman  because they are the ones that will take care of the house.   Once again, and even more outrageously. Husbands have a bad reputation, deeply embedded in the collective cultural ethos.

The dominant images in the culture are a lie: Husbands are a great gift to their wives, a partner, a friend, an adviser, a lover.  My husband is not only a man who financially and emotionally supports me, but he is an example for me to emulate in my own life, of WHO I want to be. Despite being over 35, he is about to get his Associate's Degree and is working toward the career he has always wanted. Because of his example, and his support, he helps me to do my best and improve my life. He has encouraged me to finish my Masters degrees in Government and pursue a freelance writing career.  He is neither a liar, nor an incompetently weak philanderer. Though my husband appears to me to be an exception to the rule, he is not.

From military husbands to Pastor husbands, to true God-fearing husbands, society may scream negatives, but the reality is different.  In fact, can you imagine the reality of being a man in this world, let alone a husband?  Think of this: men, despite women entering the workforce more and more, are supposed to be the reliable breadwinner.  In this economy, you are lucky if you are able to provide the barest essentials. The increased foreclosure rates are a reminder that most of these homes were once owned by families whose husbands surely lost their esteem with the loss of their homes. 

The reality is that being a husband is as stressful as being a mother or a wife.   I recently found an article written by a man in Kansas where he discussed not only the pressure of being a husband but also how the world teaches men, "not to cry, or admit fears and unhappiness. They mostly keep it inside and don't think about it". They are told that admitting it is weakness.  If this is true, and society is the one that places such stress on husbands, why are we not only ignoring this responsibility but wrongly demeaning the work many husbands do with such a negative connotation?

In fact, when examining the culture's attitude on husbands through this media lens, it's clear that the images of incompetence and weaknesses are influencing the self-images husbands have of themselves.It also influences their actions.  Shouldn't we be concerned with that old homage "Monkey see, monkey do"?  In fact, if they do respond this way, who is really to blame?

To me, it is the diminishing Christian vision of what we should be, what we should aspire to, and how our society should be ordered. Husbands, the Bible says, should not only be breadwinner, but also one that nourishes, cherishes and assures that the wife and he become one flesh, "as his own body".  Does this sound like someone who is weak, incompetent or dependent? While there are bad husbands in this world, should media aspects within society place such as spotlight on the agendas of horrid husbands?

I am learning disabled, a bit messy, not beautiful but pretty, and more Jackie O than J-Lo. I can be argumentative, stand my ground sometimes a bit too strongly, and forget to take my vitamins.  However, when that certain Italian flight instructor I married that October day looks at me, he sees what America saw when they glanced at Princess Diana or Nancy Reagan: an amazing woman.  Don't get me wrong, I know I have my positive attributes.  However, in the eyes of my husband I am something more, and that something more is a great gift to me, a gift that inspires my life and changes my future.

In the end, Good husbands do exist and they are not in the minority, nor are they what the media portrays them as. Isn't about time we praise our husbands and declare their worth?

-----
Heather Piedmont is a freelance columnist and legal/political commentator. She is also a marketing media strategist and writer for small businesses and experts.  For more information on Heather, visit her website at Heatherpiedmont.com.

---


Pope Francis calls for your 'Prayer and Action'


© 2014 - Distributed by THE NEWS CONSORTIUM

Pope Francis Prayer Intentions for March 2014
Respect for Women:
That all cultures may respect the rights and dignity of women.
Vocations: That many young people may accept the Lordís invitation to consecrate their lives to proclaiming the Gospel.



Comments


More Marriage & Family

From Living Large to Putting God in Charge

Image of

By Catholic Match

The year was 1990 and Bob was, in his own words, living large. The then 29-year-old had graduated from Marquette University in Milwaukee several years earlier and spent over a year on the pro golf tour. He went to build a thriving CPA firm and thought himself to be in ... continue reading


Devil at work! Infidelity experts says adultery is good for marriage - if you don't get caught Watch

Image of Since launching in Canada on Valentine's Day in 2002, the adultery Web site has attracted more than 24 million members in 37 countries. South Korea joined last week.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Ashley Madison is a controversial Web site that enables married men and women to have xtramarital affair. Based in Canada, Noel Biderman is forthright about the right of the married to have affairs -- providing they don't get caught. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic ... continue reading


The Path to Happiness for a Young Widow

Image of Bruce and Lauren are now happily married!

By Catholic Match

It's been said the hand of God works by way of coincidences, keeping Him invisible as He illuminates our path. That's how it worked for Bruce and Lauren, and how they get their first sense that something special was afoot. Lauren, 54-years-old, was recently widowed ... continue reading


A Marriage Built on a Firm Rock

Image of Ed and Francis both had great success thanks to CatholicMatch!

By Catholic Match

Frances already had an immensely positive experience with marriage when she came to CatholicMatch. A widow, she had great memories of her years with her late husband and if another marriage was to happen it would have to be on a firm foundation. I had a wonderful ... continue reading


Easy homemade play dough recipes, for the whole family to enjoy.

Image of Home made Play Doh is so much fun.

By Wendy C. R.N., BA

Every child loves to play with play dough and making your own play dough with your child can be fun. Here are three easy recipes for great homemade play dough. Kids are amazed when they learn how easy it is to make play dough wit this activity. The dough can be ... continue reading


Have a Great Family Easter Egg Hunt. Instead of just candy, why not fill your eggs with clues or puzzle pieces, or all sorts of things!

Image of Children love Easter Egg Hunts. Lets make it special this year.

By Wendy C. R.N., BA

Have an Family Easter Egg Hunts this year and fill the eggs with more than just candy. Here are 31 ideas to fill them with, and have fun! LOS ANGELES, CA - Need a fun idea to spruce up your Easter Egg Hunt? Instead of just candy, why not fill your eggs with clues or ... continue reading


Former 'house of horrors' abortion clinic to become emergency food, support center for poor families Watch

Image of The Philadelphia clinic was described as a chaotic

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

There is such a thing as a second chance. The notorious Delaware clinic in which abortionist Kermit Gosnell performed late-term abortions and executed children after birth will see a second life as an emergency food and support center for poor families. Lutheran ... continue reading


Hey dads! Pope Francis has an awesome message for you! Watch

Image of Pope Francis follows the example of St. Joseph, and blesses a child. Our clergy are father figures too.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

On the feast day of St. Joseph, Pope Francis spoke directly to dads, encouraging them to follow the example of St. Joseph and remain close to their children. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Yesterday was the feast day of St. Joseph and Pope Francis used the ... continue reading


Church must reconcile divorce and remarriage, German cardinal says Watch

Image of

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

The Church needs to find a middle ground that does not destroy or abandon doctrine in regards to divorce and civil remarriages, Cardinal Walter Kasper says. The church must offer a "renewed" interpretation of Church teaching in order to help those whose ... continue reading


How Republicans won the fight over abortion in Texas Watch

Image of

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Just twenty abortion clinics remain open in Texas following an antiabortion bills that was passed into law in July of 2013. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - House Bill 2, which was passed in November, requires that all abortion clinics close by Sept. 1, 2014, unless ... continue reading


All Marriage & Family News

Newsletters

Newsletter Sign Up icon

Stay up to date with the latest news, information, and special offers

Daily Readings

Reading 1, Acts 2:14, 22-32
14 Then Peter stood up with the Eleven and addressed ... Read More

Psalm, Psalms 16:1-2, 5, 7-8, 9-10, 11
1 [In a quiet voice Of David] Protect me, O God, in ... Read More

Gospel, Matthew 28:8-15
8 Filled with awe and great joy the women came ... Read More

Saint of the Day

Saint of the Day for April 21st, 2014 Image

St. Anselm
April 21: St. Anselm Archbishop of Canterbury and Confessor APRIL 21,A.D. ... Read More

Inform, Inspire & Ignite Logo

Find Catholic Online on Facebook and get updates right in your live feed.

Become a fan of Catholic Online on Facebook


Follow Catholic Online on Twitter and get News and Product updates.

Follow us on Twitter