Go and Sin No More: Set Free by Penance, the Sacrament of Freedom

2/8/2013

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true. I also missed the deep worship of my childhood where I experienced, in a profound way, the transcendent majesty of God, at the Altar in every Mass.

Because of my passionate hunger for truth I found myself, though respectful of the instructors, doubting and hungering for more than they were offering in their classes. I simply could not check my brain at the classroom door. I wanted answers and I never felt that my sincere inquiries should be cast aside as some sort of temptation. I began to discern that the road of conversion was a lifelong path.

I had a long way to travel. My pilgrimage was not over, but in fact, had only begun. The hunger for God, rekindled in my soul during that encounter on the beach, was insatiable. I also continued to experience the guilt of my wrong choices, my sins. Oh, I was aware that I had been forgiven. However, I didn't feel forgiven. Something was missing.

I started pouring over the books in that Protestant Bible College library -wanting to know about the history of the Christian Church. I found an inconsistency in the literalist approach I was being taught in the New Testament class. It seemed that Jesus meant everything He said - except His explicit words concerning the Eucharist or the "Lord's supper" as the instructor called it. Though Jesus Himself said it was His Body and Blood, right in the biblical text, the Professor intimated he somehow didn't mean it. I could not accept this meager dismissal of something so profound.

I also began to hear increasing disparagement of the Catholic Church in some classes. It did not comport with my experience as a child, my growing convictions about the Christian life or my fledging study of Christian history. I hungered for the truth and continued, as had been my lifelong habit, to devour books. At that time, the Bible College library was stocked with the writings of the Protestant reformers. However, it was as though the Church stopped with the Apostles, or shortly thereafter, only to be rekindled by Martin Luther. I wanted to know the whole story!

I began to make daily visits to the Lakeland Florida Public library. There I probed early Church writings and began to question my way right back to my Catholic Christian faith. I discovered the early Christian writings, the Fathers and the wonderful truth about the early Christian Church, her early liturgy, her understanding of the "mysteries" (sacraments) and her hierarchical order. I sought out a priest and began my journey home to the Catholic Church.

Little did I realize then that this part of the journey would also lead me to find the freedom I longed for, through experiencing the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Penance). "Confession" was one of the practices of Catholic faith I no longer thought I "needed" and did not understand. However, though I knew the Lord was real and active in my life and I knew that He forgave me for my sins, my wrong choices and rebellion, I still felt somehow bound by them.

I wanted to be free. I also wanted more of God. I prayed - but I knew that I had only scratched the surface of His invitation to a relationship of communion. I knew it was more than the well intended little songs I had learned along the way. It was an invitation into His very life and a call to holiness. I read a flyer in the back of the parish Church I was attending about a retreat that was to occur in Southern Florida. The "Retreat Master" was a Benedictine Monk, (the "Abbot" or "Father" of a monastery). The theme was "intimacy with the Lord".

I registered and went the next weekend. The retreat grounds were beautiful and called to mind my childhood experiences at similar places- "holy places" set aside for encountering God. There I was, soaking in the sun, on these beautiful retreat grounds in sunny Southern Florida. I was eighteen years young. I had been intrigued by a flyer advertising the retreat at the back of the Catholic Church I began attending. The retreat promised to help all who attended experience a deeper intimacy with Jesus through developing an interior life.

By now, I had returned home to the Church of my childhood, the Catholic Church. I was back at Mass, the sacred liturgy, almost every day. I was reading the Sacred Scriptures (the Bible) and something from the Fathers of the Church or the lives of the Saints every day. I had fallen in love with the Church. Now I was a Catholic Christian, not only because I was raised that way, but also because I had doubted, questioned and prayed my way back home. Or rather, the Head of that Church had invited me and I had begun to hear His voice.

Oh, how I wanted to hear it even more deeply. I attended the retreat for that reason. That day, during the morning sessions, I was invited to focus on developing an interior life and deepen my relationship with Jesus Christ in prayer. Not only were the talks wonderful, but something ...
- - -

Pope Benedict XVI's Prayer Intentions for January 2013
General Intention: The Faith of Christians. That in this Year of Faith Christians may deepen their knowledge of the mystery of Christ and witness joyfully to the gift of faith in him.
Missionary Intention: Middle Eastern Christians. That the Christian communities of the Middle East, often discriminated against, may receive from the Holy Spirit the strength of fidelity and perseverance.

Keywords: penance, reconciliation, sacrament, confession, conversion, GK Chesterton, forgiveness, Lent, absolution, pilgrim, Deacon Keith Fournier

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1 - 4 of 4 Comments

lily
3 months ago
I so enjoyed reading about your journey. I, too, did my first confession at a monastery. I was very ashamed and fearful, as I have never done it before.. But I clearly felt the Lord calling me to do it, and I could not resist.. Since then, I have become a Catholic and I love everything about it.
Larry
3 months ago
In today's world, we have a couple of concepts people readily accept that fit well with the Confession, Sacrament of Reconciliation. We talk about fail often, fail fast - to try your business model or approach and learn from what didn't work and find out what will work. We also talk about getting grounded, to get back in sync with whatever you sync with. Some use meditation, some use good habits, others use some rituals they use to sync better. The idea here is to recognize that 'mistakes' are normal that mess up our system so we need to do some things to find what works and to get back in the grove with the energy we use or need to sync with.

I read about a very successful salesman in New Jersy in a book by Malcom Gladwell, Blink is what I think was his book (he's written several). I spoke with him some years ago and asked him what he does to be so successful. He explained many things I'm familiar with that work for success - contacts with customers, sending notes, remembering important dates for the customer, getting to know details of a customer's life, etc. The last thing he explained (that was not in the book) was that he gets to work early to get ready for the day - make sure he has all the things he needs for the day (this is common). 10 minutes just before he goes to the salesfloor or his desk on the showroom floor, he 'meditates' and tries to get rid of the negative things that have been affecting him and he repeats a phrase he believes in "Every customer is a potential sale". I asked him if he believes this, why does he have to repeat it every day and don't all salespeople believe this. He said most don't believe it since they talk about customers in categoriews of non-buyers, why they won't buy today and this works against any belief about selling. He also said he knows that in a normal day at work and at home, he attracts or collects negative energy and attitudes which work against his success so his 10 minute preparation help him get rid of the negative from yesterday for today's sales. He is cleaning himself (attitudes, energy, how he starts) to be ready the best he can. I also know that many successful people review what they are grateful for just before bed or during the day to reset attitudes and put things into perspective.

Confession can do lots of these things - face our sins (mistakes), admit them and take responsibility for them (more than think of them), ask for forgiveness (clean our energy/ spirit/soul) learn from our sins (mistakes/weaknesses) and get the power to be in the grace of God (back in sync, get rid of negative attitudes and energy).

I remember some years ago Catholics come Home had an ad that talked about going to confession to get your soul almost baptism clean, just like you had it at a clean slate (like rebooting, resetting our system). That concept impressed me. Would that we would talk about the Sacraments and their power and use in terms that people understand today.
John
3 months ago
I just returned to the Catholic Church after being away for 37 years. I was a cradle Catholic but at the age of 22 and a life that was upside down and knowing I need God in my life I found Him in a non denominational church and it was there I came to really know Jesus Christ as my Savior.I spent the next 37 years faithfully serving our Lord in the Protestant Church teaching,as a deacon then an elder, worship leader and a licensed minister.But about 9 months ago I started to investigate the Catholic faith and as I studied I discovered The teachings I thought were wrong I discovered they were true. I had come to a real crisis of faith and wasn't sure what I would do.God seemed to put people in my path who help reassure me I was on the right path, finally I made a appointment with a local Priest and met with him. As the conversation with him progressed and things were winding down he offered to hear my confession.I said will you hear it now and he did and my tears flowed as I confessed sins that I carried since a child. What a relief it was, my heart was free.It was one of the best days of my life. I am now attending mass and receiving communion.Now I am praying that the Lord will draw my wife back to the Church also.
Harald
3 months ago
I know how he Feelt, I to was there, I lift as a Teen, Seen the World, was Looking for samething? I already had, but did not know! He was with me all of my Days, But my Eyes and Heart were not Open. I was looking in all the wrong Placies, even the wrong Churchies! HO! Yes I was steal going to Church almost every Sunday and ontime. But Same thing was missing. One day the Lord sent a Friend to me, I really did not know, only from coming to were I work, to Pick-Up items he needed for Home and Family. He ask me one day if I was a Christion? He said the way I akted made him ask, and also am I Catholic, I said Yes! But have not been back seens 1980" . will we have a Small Church in Town. We Love To Have You Back. I said OK." The Lord will come for us when he knows we are ready. " I was ready! I to was set Free After my Frist Confession, somany years after my lost Confession. Yes I to am in my 60's , and so many of us Fall. But the Lord is always with us His Hand is out there we just have to put ours out and Hold on. GOD Bless you All Brothers and Sisters. We need each other and Prays the LORD. It is never to Late to be Saved. I Will make a Copy of this Articol and Post in the Church Buliton Board, I Hope that it may Help the Young and Older: You need not Look any fearther thin The House of the LORD; Hi is there with Open Armes; and Most of ALL " HE LOVES YOU"

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