Crying to God is balm for the soul

"Listen to my prayer, Lord, hear my cry; do not be deaf to my weeping!" Psalm 39:13

My children know me well, and so every year for Christmas I am gifted with beautiful candles, incense, small water fountains and books for meditation and prayer. When Christmas is over and it's time to put my gifts where they will be well-used, I find that my bathroom is a lot smaller than it looks!

No one ever told me this little square room would serve as a haven from the hurts of life, a refuge to become lost in prayer or the place where I would slam the door, stare at the picture of Jesus on the counter and say, "We need to talk!" And every woman knows you can't do those things without an adequate supply of candles!

Running to my bathroom in tears and pouring my broken heart out before the Lord like a little wounded child is something I do more often than I would like to admit. This morning was one of those times. We all know them well -- when losses and loneliness seem to pile up so high that there is no way over them - and so we must go through them, our hearts breaking over and over again every step of the way. And so today, tired of the journey, I sat in front of my little, bent up holy card of the Sacred Heart and cried pitifully to Jesus, "Being a person is really a hard thing to be!"

So upset was I that I almost added, "YOU do it for a little while and see how you like it!" But I caught myself in mid thought and actually smiled, thinking, "Oh, that's right. You did." And that's the whole point; one we are often likely to forget, especially when we are hurting or when we sin.

Jesus knew what it was like to be us. He knew the joy and the pain, the fear, the temptations. He knew what it was like to love and be loved, to be abandoned, rejected and laughed at. He knew what it was like to be in relationship with imperfect, limited people, but people he loved enough to die for anyway.

We are those people, and the people we love are those people, so if it was painful for our Lord, it can be no less for us.

That doesn't make it any easier, however. But in reality it has never been easy for those who seek to know and love God. Just look at King David in the Hebrew Scriptures.

The famous Hebrew teacher and saint, Rabbi Nachman, taught that King David's time for running to God was when the king secluded himself with God at night, under his covers in bed. Hidden from the sight of all others, he would pour his heart out before God, which explains the meaning of the verse, "I speak every night on my bed in tears" (Psalms 6:7). Imagine that - a king crying to God under the covers, expressing his fears and shortcomings and asking for God's wisdom, guidance and protection. Our own leaders would do well to follow the example of this ancient king of the Hebrew people, as would we.

So, if you haven't done so already, you may want to consider rearranging your bathroom and making space for some candles and a little, soon-to-be bent up holy card of your choice. If you are going to live as God's children, you're going to need it.

_________________________________________

Mary Morrell is the author of Angels in High Top Sneakers from Loyola Press.

Contact

Diocese of Metuchen
http://www.diometuchen.org NJ, US
Mary Morrell - Associate Director, Office of Religious Education, 732 562-1990

Email

mmorrell@diometuchen.org

Keywords

God

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