Traditional green and quaint Ireland still exists, but it'll cost you

Detroit Free Press (MCT) - This was the place, or close enough.

"Can you imagine, your grandfather grew up near here!" I shouted to my husband, waving my hand around vaguely in the dismal rain.

"I mean, his house could have been on this very spot!"

Expectant, we stood upon the naked peak of the N-86 road as it fell away toward the distant villages. My husband gazed over the spread of hilly fields, stony houses and soggy sheep. He looked at the gray whipping sea that took his grandparents, Patrick and Nellie, to America 105 years ago.

And I think he was waiting for something. A spark of recognition. A lurch of the heart. Some distant O'Donnell relatives popping out of the bushes, perhaps, with open arms and a pot of tea.

But the wind kept blowing. The rain kept raining. We got back into our tiny scratched-up Ford Focus and drove on to Dingle Town.

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"Legs, Bums and Tums" _ Irish aerobics class poster

Thirty-six million Americans claim Irish heritage, and Ireland is always near the top of dream-trip lists for travelers _ it was No. 2 on the "best family vacation" survey conducted by Virtuoso Life luxury travel company this year. And it can be that place you dream about, bedecked in green and roguish charm.

What Ireland can no longer be, however, is a quaint little brother to the United States.

Long gone are the days where jolly Americans could disperse a few bucks and live it up in Ireland amid genteel poverty so charming when you visit, so harsh when you're living it.

The truth? Ireland has flipped the tables on the United States.

American tourists will feel poor and even desperate when they get hit with $5 coffee, $14 tomato sandwiches and $800 car rentals.

Fueled by a huge increase in its citizens' standard of living and paychecks in the last 15 years, Dublin is now the fourth most expensive city in the world after Oslo, London and Copenhagen, up from 13th in 2006, according to the annual survey by Swiss bank UBS. The Euro-trendy boomtown has nightclubs and sex shops along with its cathedrals and books _ and, really, how can the 1,000-year-old Book of Kells illuminated gospel be expected to compete with Shauna's Naughty Adult Fun Store?

However, I'll try to be kind.

I won't say much more about Dublin, a tense, traffic-jammed place whose major redeeming virtues are its bright-painted doors and Trinity College. (Also off the to-do list is Carlow, a suburb where I got stuck in a "car park" when the exit gate arm wouldn't go up, only to be saved by a pharmacist, after which I witnessed a car wreck.)

I won't dwell on the fact that the land of emigrants has turned into the land of immigrants, with workers from Poland, Latvia and Africa, not Ireland, waiting tables, bartending at pubs and staffing hotel desks.

And I promise not to mention all the rainy days, although there were at least three in a week.

Instead, I'm going to talk about the Ireland Americans want to believe in.

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"Slow _ Loose Chippings" _ Irish road sign

So it's another day, and I've found my way to Killarney, 185 miles southwest of Dublin. After a big breakfast of Wheatabix shredded wheat, and bacon so substantial several pigs must have donated to the portion, I take a peek outside. The blazing sun reveals bright green mountains just outside the hotel, perfect for a pretty 3-mile walk through the magical Killarney National Park to Ross Castle, whose history dates to the 13th century.

Can this be the same moody, grumpy Ireland of a couple of days ago? The blue lakes of Killarney glisten as boats glide across. Equestrians trot horses down quiet lanes. Cyclists ride trails and a little girl feeds the ducks in the castle pond.

When the sun shines in Ireland, it's like a big smile. Flowers bloom ardently in small gardens and public parks. Historic castles are clean and shining. Everything is green, green, green.

The 10,000 acres for the Killarney National Park was donated to Ireland in 1932 by an American, William Bowers Bourn, and his son-in-law, Irish Sen. Arthur Vincent. It was Ireland's first national park, and a good gift it was, too.

Ross Castle, one of the most photographed spots in Ireland, shimmers with Gaelic good cheer. After touring inside the castle, tourists can ride back to town on a traditional horse-drawn "jaunting car," an open-air cart that jostles along with the auto traffic on narrow roads. After a nice tea break with apple tart and thick clotted cream, things in Ireland are starting to look up.

Killarney is the start of the "Ring of Kerry," a 110-mile scenic loop south toward Kenmare and beyond to the west. It's a picture postcard. Sheep wander across mountain roads. Vistas that even Queen Victoria's ladies-in-waiting found astonishing spread below. Kenmare, a jewel of a tourist town, is tiny and neat, with brilliantly colored gift shops as bright as a dancing girl's closet. Inside, they are chock-full of heavy Irish sweaters, blankets, crystal, lace and souvenirs. It's from Kenmare that Nellie, my husband's grandmother, emigrated.

"Did she ever talk about Ireland?" I asked as we strolled the streets. "About Kenmare? About her childhood?"

"Never," said my husband, whose grandmother lived with his family until her death.

"She wanted us to be Americans."

Most people in the United States with Irish ancestors have their roots in western Ireland _ Kerry, Cork, Clare and Mayo counties, which were poor areas near ship ports. Luckily, this is also the most beautiful section of the country _ and the closest to being old-fashioned.

Notice, however, I did not say cheap.

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"Accident Black Spot Ahead" _ Irish road sign

In the past three years, American tourism to Ireland has grown at a hearty pace, with 2.3 million visiting from 2005-2007. Tourism was predicted to jump again in 2008, but first-quarter data reported by Central Statistics Office Ireland shows visits from the United States this year are flat, while they are down for European visitors and up for the British.

In mid-June, I saw not a single line anywhere _ not even at the Blarney Stone or the Wedgwood factory. Hotel rooms were available at the last minute.

Local merchants confirmed it was quiet. Their logic? The dollar is down in value because of President Bush's unpopularity. After President Obama takes office they expect the dollar will rise and Americans will be back.

"I've seen a big drop-off in Americans, but I hope after the election, business will get better," says Sarah Stuart Trainor, marketing director for Adare Manor resort in Adare in western Ireland.

"It's slower this year," says Joan O'Connor, supervisor at Keynes Bistro in Killarney.

"It may be the dollar, but it's slower overall, even with European tourists."

"It's so expensive, it would serve Ireland right if no tourists come," says Mary Tobin, a former Detroiter who has lived in County Kerry for 10 years. "I'm past sticker shock. I think there is profiteering."

But Mary, Mary, how could there be such a thing in our friend, quaint little Ireland?

I prefer to think of it as a temporary misalignment of prices.

I'm hoping that when they realize we are missing, they will immediately lower their rates and welcome back their hardscrabble cousins from America.

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"Traffic Calming Ahead" _ Irish road sign

I hope I haven't scared you off. If you are still dreaming of Ireland, go. The classic sights are still there, waiting to be discovered by you.

All of these sights are on the well-trod tourist path that tour buses and rental cars chug on around the country. Have a week or 10 days? You can see them all:

_Dingle Town: This touristy but picturesque seaside village has great shopping and is the gateway to a drive to Slea Head, the wild southwestern edge of Ireland. You can visit an "Irish Famine Cottage," which explains why a land that once had 8 million people shrank to less than half its size as the potato famine struck in the 1840s. If you don't feel too guilty to eat afterwards, try dinner at a tiny restaurant called Out of The Blue, which serves amazing fish.

_Adare: Lovely if somewhat manufactured "traditional" thatched roof Irish village in County Clare. Gorgeous tourist shops. Photo ops abound. Back home, gullible Americans can easily be fooled into thinking this is what all of Ireland looks like.

_Bunratty Castle, near Shannon Airport: The ultimate in touristy destinations, it's also a ton of fun.

The hook? A real, restored 13th-century tower castle hosts medieval dinner parties.

Sure, it's corny _ you eat with your hands, drink mead and sing with serving wenches _ but the true talent of the singers, violinist and harpist is first-rate. Perhaps the only place in Ireland you will hear "When Irish Eyes are Smiling" and "Danny Boy."

Next door is Durty Nelly's, the oldest pub in Ireland. Worth dropping into, but a major tourist trap.

_Blarney Castle: An even bigger tourist trap, but who can come all the way to Ireland and not kiss the Blarney stone?

We took a back road from Kenmare to Blarney, which is northwest of the big town of Cork, and enjoyed every minute of it.

Many Americans might imagine it's a big rock in a field, but the Blarney Stone is atop the castle, and you need to climb about 100 steps up to get there.

Lie down on your back, stick your head out over a drop-off to the ground, and lean back and kiss a stone. One kiss, and you'll forever have the gift of gab.

_Waterford: A surprisingly nice town in southeast Ireland that is headquarters of the Waterford Crystal company.

I highly recommend the well-run tour of the factory, which shows how every single piece of crystal is hand- blown, molded and made. This is the real factory, not a visitors center version. The gigantic gift shop ships to the United States free for large purchases. Although prices are not significantly cheaper, the factory has some crystal not sold anywhere else, and it has good sales that can get you up to 50 percent off on discontinued pieces.

_Book of Kells at Trinity College, Dublin. 700-year-old illuminated gospels are worth a look, but I enjoyed the tour of Trinity College even more.

_The Cliffs of Moher. Spectacular cliffs on the Atlantic Ocean in County Clare. Appreciate this place for its intransient nature, even if the rest of Ireland has changed so much that if the angels of Nellie and Patrick O'Donnell came back to Eire, they would be astounded to the tips of their brogues.

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TEN THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT IRELAND

1. Men's bathrooms are called the "Gents" room _ and most of them have urinal troughs.

2. Ask an Irishman for directions, and he'll help you _ if you can follow him. An actual example: "Go to the small roundabout, then a large roundabout. Take the first left. Then go through another small roundabout and then at the next roundabout, take the second left, then the third left, then you'll be on the dual carriageway, then follow the signs to Tralee." He was right.

3. Guinness beer is delivered in stainless steel delivery trucks as big as gas tankers.

4. You can spend your time reading the newspapers _ five national newspapers in a country with the population of metro Detroit. One, the Irish Independent, recently featured a fascinating story called "The Fate of Hill Sheep."

5. When you drive into Killarney, that chirpy Bing Crosby song, "Christmas in Killarney" will immediately spring into your mind, whether you want it to or not.

6. If you are driving, bring CDs. The radio stations outside of Dublin are not, to put it kindly, up to standard; it seems to be all B sides.

7. A three-bedroom house in Ireland's cities can cost more than $1 million.

8. The signs are worth photographing, especially my favorite, "Acute Bends Ahead."

9. In Ireland by law, you can't get married outside. You have to marry at a city registry office, in church or indoors.

10. Even nondrinkers likely will drink more beer and whiskey when visiting Ireland than at any other 10-day stretch in your life. Why? I wish I could say it's because beer is cheap, but it's not; you'll pay about 4.50 euros per pint. It's just that beer and whiskey drinking is common, even at lunch. I didn't see anyone drinking iced tea.

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IF YOU GO:

GETTING THERE: Fly into Shannon if you will be mostly in western Ireland; it's far less busy and easy to navigate. Dublin's airport is overcrowded and under a ton of construction.

MONEY: Ireland uses euros. For best exchange rates, use a debit card to draw cash from an ATM in Ireland.

PASSPORT: You need a passport to travel to Ireland.

GETTING AROUND: If you're not on a tour and you don't mind driving, rent a car for use outside the Dublin area. Train and bus service isn't comprehensive in Ireland. Try not to drive in Dublin's crowded streets. It is possible to rent a car at one Ireland airport (Dublin or Shannon) and drop it off at the other.

HOTELS: Hotels have encountered the least inflation, so you can still find a decent small hotel or bed and breakfast for about $120-$200 per night. I like the larger B&Bs that are really like small hotels.

In Killarney, try Earl's Court (about $185 double, www.killarney-earlscourt.ie). In Waterford, try Hotel Granville (from $154 double, www.granville-hotel.ie/); in Kenmare, try Rockcrest House ($118 double, www.rockcresthouse.com).

If you are lucky, you might find a good Internet rate of $146 double at the luxurious Dunraven Arms in Adare (www.dunravenhotel.com). A good Dublin airport hotel is Bewleys ($146, www.bewleyshotels.com).

For the best deals, check the price on Orbitz, then directly with the hotel. If Orbitz is the same price, book and pay in advance in dollars; you'll save on the exchange rate.

If you get to a town and you do not have any idea where to stay, stop at the local Tourism Ireland office. Staff there can help you book a room on short notice.

FOOD: In the land of $5 coffee and $13 sandwiches, you will get sticker shock no matter what you eat. Strategies: Most hotels include breakfast, so stuff yourself in the morning. For lunch, have soup or seafood chowder and bread at a local pub, and maybe you'll spend only $20. For dinner, it's tough to get by for less than $50 per person.

ATTRACTIONS: Here are four I like:

Bunratty Castle Medieval Night ($85, www.shannonheritage.com)

Waterford Crystal factory tour ($12, www.waterfordvisitorcentre.com)

Book of Kells/Trinity College tour (about $19, purchase at Trinity College the day of tour; www.tcd.ie/Library/heritage/tours.php)

Blarney Castle (about $15, www.blarneycastle.ie)

For more ideas on attractions in Ireland, see www.discoverireland.ie

TOUR PLANNING

If you don't mind a group tour, Ireland is a good place to take one. You don't have to drive, and you save money by paying for lodging, attractions and some meals in advance. A big tour company is CIE Tours (www.cietours.com, 800-243-8687).

(All prices in this story were calculated using the exchange rate $1.48 to 1 euro. Exchange rates have fluctuated since the summer.)

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DRIVING IN IRELAND

Here's a scary statistic: One in seven drivers in Ireland doesn't even have a license. Until June, they had been legally driving on learners' permits. For years.

So in a land with roads narrower than most American driveways, tourists who rent a car should be super careful. Here are tips:

_If you like independent touring, you really need a car. Ireland's trains and buses aren't extensive enough to get you everywhere you want to go.

_Book before you go, and shop around. Major American rental agencies have offices in Ireland, but prices vary wildly.

_Unlike in nearly every other country in the world, you need to purchase collision and theft coverage for car rentals in Ireland. Book ahead of time if possible. Do not decline the coverage just because you pay with a credit card. Most American credit cards refuse to cover rental insurance in Ireland (call yours to make sure of its policy).

_Unless you regularly drive a stick shift, get an automatic car in Ireland, even if it costs more. You'll have enough on your hands driving on the left side of the road.

_Regardless of how jet-lagged you are, read the rental agreement carefully before you sign, and make sure your total costs are put in writing in advance.

_Budget travel times double what you would imagine based on mileage. Try not to drive more than about 50 kilometers a day (about 33 miles; plan lots of stops along the way.

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Ellen Creager: ecreager@freepress.com

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