Haunted houses, spooky shows and scary rides are just part of the fun at Halloween Horror Nights

McClatchy Newspapers (MCT) - If you think Universal Studios' Halloween Horror Nights is just another haunted house, you need to get out of your coffin more often.

"Rrrrrrrrr," sputters a chain saw, just inches from your back.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha," cackles the Wicked Witch of the West, who has taken over the former Plaza of the Stars and brought those nasty monkeys with her.

Ghouls and goblins hiding in the jack-o-lantern patch jump right in your face, and the demented creatures from Alice's oh-so-warped looking glass chase you through smoke and mist.

And that's just in the streets. Add in eight houses of horror, three Halloween themed-shows and five regular scary rides open during the evening event, and you can understand why hundreds of thousands of guests are expected to turn up during the 23 nights of this, the 18th annual Halloween Horror Nights.

Charles McClure, an American who lives in Ireland, times an annual business trip to the United States to coincide with one of the fright nights. This was his fifth visit with his kids, ages 15-21. "I love watching the kids get the crap scared out of them," he said. "It's great, clean fun."

Make that PG-13 fun. Even Universal's promoters describe Halloween Horror Nights as "intense" _ though it's all something of a head game, since even the scariest looking ghouls aren't allowed to actually touch the guests. And the shows Bill & Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure and Rocky Horror Picture Show Tribute are definitely saltier than anything you're going to see at a Disney park.

The event works like this: With a Halloween Horror Nights ticket (advance purchase and Florida residents get the best deals and guaranteed entry, which sometimes sells out), guests get all-inclusive nighttime admission to Universal Studios Orlando. Hours vary, but on weekends, when the event can sell out, you can enter at 6:30 p.m. and stay until 2 a.m.

You'll need the time. Even with special front-of-the-line access, it took nearly five hours to see all the haunted houses and two of the three shows _ and that's without stopping for a snack at Mel's Die-In (cleverly renamed for the evening), slurping down cherry-and-vodka Jell-O shots in plasma bags sold by roving "nurses" or taking a spin through the Men-In-Black and Simpson's attractions.

The eight haunted houses are the centerpiece, and patrons _ mostly college aged and young adults _ stand in line 45-60 minutes to get through the door. Inside, they're treated to elaborate themed mazes obscured by low light and foggy scenes filled with alien creatures, body collection victims, doomsday survivors, twisted fairy tale characters and the kind of "Deliverance" rednecks your mother warned you against.

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This year's signature is Bloody Mary, the mysterious spook said to be summoned by calling her name into a mirror (and not to be confused with the English queen of history or the cocktail). In Universal's interpretation, Bloody Mary is Dr. Mary Agana, a psychiatrist-to-the-weird who attempts to cure her own fear of death by killing others in the Reflections of Fear haunted house.

It's not giving anything away to say that at Reflections and the other houses you may get sprayed, splattered, breathed on or jumped at _ but unless your ticker is so weak you might literally be scared to death, the pranks are harmless. (Non-monster staffers are stationed along the path to move the flow along and keep an eye out for trouble.) Still, you'll want to put on extra deodorant; these scare tactics will surely raise your temperature.

"It's a lot scarier than I expected," said first-time visitor 16-year-old Alexandra Martinez of Weston, visiting with her brother, Antonio, an Orlando student and second-timer. "I'd definitely come back."

Veterans dash to Bill & Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure, an irreverent spoof on politics and pop culture from the year past. This year, both presidential candidates get their fair share of attention, along with Sen. Hilary Clinton, Gov. Sarah Palin, an aging Indiana Jones, Angelina and the twins, Miley Cyrus, Hellboy, Celine Dion, Will Smith and Heath Ledger's Joker.

Tasteful it isn't, but then, at Halloween Horror Nights, gentility definitely isn't on the schedule.

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HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS

Note: Admission prices below do not include required tax.

_Where: Universal Studios Florida

_When: Remaining nights are Oct. 22-26, 29-31 and Nov. 1

_Tickets: Buy them in advance; this event sells out

_Cost: Regular price is $69.99. Florida residents pay $36.99 for advance-purchase tickets with the promotional code from specially marked cans of Coke or specially-marked cup from participating Burger King restaurants.

_Express Pass: This gives you one front-of-the-line access to each attraction; cost is $39.99 PLUS admission. Note that the express pass is already sold out for some nights.

_RIP Tour: These tours offered some nights include guides and RIP-only entrances, plus reserved seating for the Bill & Ted show. Private tours for your group only cost $1,500 for up to 5 hours and $1,700 for up to 7 hours and includes admission; maximum 12 people. Non-private RIP Tours cost $150 plus admission; maximum group size is 12. 407-363-8295.

_Information: www.halloweenhorrornights.com; 888-467-7677

LODGING

Note: All prices are subject to availability.

A number of Universal area hotels are offering special rates and free shuttles to the park for Halloween Horror Nights; among them are the Rosen Plaza ($99, www.rosenplaza.com, 800-627-8258). See other packages _ including some buy-two-nights, get-one free deals _ at www.orlandoinfo.com.

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Through Universal you can buy this package: $95 per person, double occupancy, includes one night of lodging at a Universal Orlando-area hotel, one admission to Halloween Horror Nights, transportation between the hotel and Universal Orlando, a CityWalk Party Pass and a 5 x 7 souvenir photo. You must have a UPC code from a Coca-Cola Classic, Diet Coke or Coca-Cola Zero product.

Universal also has three Loews hotels on its property, which makes for easy access. Information for the Royal Pacific Resort, Hardrock Hotel and Portofino Bay Hotel: www.loewshotels.com; 888-430-4999. Note that the front-of-the-line access to park attractions that comes with your hotel stay DOES NOT apply to Halloween Horror Nights. (For that you have to buy an Express Pass, above.)

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© 2008, The Miami Herald.