Sorry buddy, you're in the wrong job. Here's how you can make $30,000 a month teaching millenials how to tie their shoelaces

Contact me if you're interested in partnering up, yeah?

I'm in the wrong job, and so are you. If you're willing to spend all day teaching millennials how to tie their shoes, they will pay you up to $30,000 a month so they can finally move out of their parent's basement.

LOS ANGELES, CA (California Network) -- At a rehab center in Yellowbrick, Illinois, millennials are taught life skills for about $28,000 per month. That's not a typo. These upstanding citizens are literally paying $28,000 a month to learn how to shop, cook, clean and "show up."

Despite the quality of the program, you'd better have deep pockets if you want to attend. The program has a failure rate of 80 percent.

That failure rate is in spite of quality treatments such as yoga, meditation, and art therapy.

Most of the patients in the center are allegedly diagnosed with depression, anxiety and panic disorder.

Patients are also given a prescription of vitamins to improve their health.

Patients also go to bed at a regular hour and work out for exercise. They are fed proper, nutritious meals. However, all patients are expected to follow the rules which they call "Community Agreements."

A number of the patients have histories of drug and alcohol abuse, likely because of their underlying mental health issues.

In addition to the monthly $28,000 per month fee, patients must also pay $7,950 for their "initial health assessment."

Some people claim the center has saved their life, while others pan it as an overpriced failure operated exclusively for profit. According to some reviewers, the center kicks out patients after they run out of money to pay the $28,000 per month fees.

At the same time, several patients have attempted suicide before being admitted to the center and claim the experience saved their lives.

It's always difficult to argue with success. It would be newsworthy to learn what success stories the center has to tell.

Millennials are fortunate to live in a time when such centers exist. Prior to the opening of facilities like these, young people simply had to grow the hell up lest their parents give them a good kick in the seat.

There are no job openings at the facility at this time, but it is possible with the proper credentials other concerned individuals can open similar facilities in their neighborhoods.

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