Countdown to the Conclave, Day 14: How to Celebrate the Announcement

A forwarded email describing how one family plans on celebrating the election -- the pealing of a large bell  --  of the new pope has elicited some ideas of our own. In no particular order, here they are. We welcome any ideas you might have to add to the list. Final thought: noisemakers, such as the infamous vuvuzela and the like are for football, basketball, and soccer games -- let's keep our celebration as classy as all the recommendations above!

P>WASHINGTON,DC (Catholic Online) - A forwarded email describing how one family plans on celebrating the election -- the pealing of a large bell  --  of the new pope has elicited some ideas of our own. In no particular order, here they are. We welcome any ideas you might have to add to the list.

1. Open the windows and set your speakers on the windowsill, play Handel's Hallelujah Chorus very loudly.

2. Burn all your Dan Brown, or the equivalent, books in the front yard -- if you want to make the smoke white then follow these directions.

3. Take all those uneaten girl scout cookies, or at least we hope they are uneaten, knock on your neighbors' doors, and hand them some nicely-wrapped cookies saying, "Habemus papam!" or its equivalent.

4. Hit the car alarm and pretend for several minutes that your can't find your car keys.

5. Set up a folding table by the street with a sign that says, "Toast Our New Pope!," and serve champagne in pill swallowing cups. Have some sparkling cider for those under 21 years of age. 

6. If it's a nice day on the weekend, or late on a weekday afternoon, light the portable barbecue and start cooking hot dogs, hamburgers, or ribs, with a sign saying, "Free Food Compliments of Our New Pope!"

7. Walk your dogs carrying a Vatican flag, available here from Amazon, and then hang it outside your home for, say, three days.

8. Get the "slippy slide" out of storage, regardless of the weather, set it up, and turn on the hose. Start sliding. Put a sign in the ground, or the snow, which reads, "Wishing Our New Pope a Calm Sea and Prosperous Voyage." (Playing Mendelssohn in the background is optional.)

9. If it's evening when a new pope is elected, start the car facing the street, sidewalk, or yard, turn on the headlights, play your favorite rock n' roll at full volume from the car stereo, and practice those swing steps you knew so well 20, 30, or 40 years ago! (Yes, you octogenarians can swing to Vera Lynn, the Andrews Sisters, or Dick Haymes -- click here in case you've forgotten who they are.)

10. Go right now to the local Catholic book store -- you know, the one that struggles to keep the lights on -- and buy, say, a dozen books by Benedict XVI.  Wrap those books and give them as gifts to neighbors and friends, saying, "We are so grateful for having such a wonderful pope for these past 2973 days!" (You can say "7 years, ten months, and ten days," or just "nearly 8 years.")

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Final thought: noisemakers, such as the infamous vuvuzela and the like are for football, basketball, and soccer games -- let's keep our celebration as classy as all the recommendations above!
 

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