How you can find a new job (without seeming desperate)

Chicago Tribune(MCT) - You know that friend who only wants to hang out when her boyfriend is out of town?

Or that next-door neighbor who only speaks to you when he's out of ice?

Or the relative who drops by only when her daughter is selling Girl Scout cookies?

You likely find yourself exasperated, rather than excited, when these characters resurface in your life. So why are some of us taking a similar approach to finding a job?

Don't tell me I'm the only one whose inbox is full of resumes from folks I haven't talked to since "Seinfeld" went off the air. I'm inundated with text messages from high school friends I last saw at homecoming. Even friends of acquaintances are contacting me, listing their qualifications and career interests, as if I'm their personal headhunter.

It's a sign of the times.

The depressing state of the job market is giving rise to networking's crazy cousin, as I've dubbed it, nutworking. Nutworking is a form of bizarre business conduct common among unemployed or under-employed professionals who aggressively seek job help from former colleagues and friends, using every piece of technology at their fingertips. Even more unsettling, though, is nutworking unleashed on complete strangers, as facilitated by the technological wonders of Google, Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn.

The number of nutworkers seems to be increasing, and it's easy to understand why. This economy could unhinge even the most job-secure of professionals. While there's no shame in working all angles of your social and work circles, nutworking labels you more of a pest than a professional. "It's almost as bad as inviting someone whom you haven't seen in a while to come to your house and help you paint your garage," Liz Ryan, a BusinessWeek Online workplace columnist and social networking expert, told me. "You wouldn't do that, so don't start a conversation talking about what you want or need."

Ryan advises that if you want to warm up cooled-off colleagues, call instead of e-mailing. When they pick up the phone, ask how they are and what they've been doing, and mean it. Most likely, they'll ask about you, too. Just don't push it.

"You need to be careful how to approach your request," Ryan said. "Ask for advice."

As for those who find phone calls antiquated, recognize that technology can be as much of an annoyance as an aid. You might feel more efficient when you e-mail-blast out your resume to friends and former colleagues, but my guess is the success rate is so-so.

That advice also applies to haphazardly connection-hunting within sites such as LinkedIn.

Why not try to add new contacts the old-fashioned way, face-to-face? I'm not necessarily advocating speed-networking events, those orgies of business cards and timed, awkward introductions. Instead, get out to parties, attend events in your chosen industry, or, as Ryan advises, get dolled up and hit some charity balls. You might meet some professionals who could help you directly or lead you to someone who can.

Enjoy Daily Readings? Pay it Forward

That doesn't mean you should stuff resumes under your shirt when you're headed out to hobnob. Just socialize normally, and keep the conversation career-light unless you see an "in" to discuss your desires further.

Make sure to follow up after the party, then reel them in using technological tools. That face-to-face interaction could strengthen your efforts to link up on LinkedIn or befriend on Facebook, Ryan said.

Once you're in, cultivate that connection and keep it from going cold so that you don't end up nutworking again. Even in desperate times, nobody likes desperate measures.

___