Heart-wrenching story of mother with terminal cancer leaving advice-filled notes for youngest daughter

Heather McManay knew she wouldn't be there to help her daughter through most of life's milestones, so she wrote over 40 letters in hopes that her daughter would feel she wasn't alone.

Heather McManamy was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer in April 2013. Following several rounds of chemotherapy and surgeries, the cancer spread to her liver and bones until one year later, when she was told the cancer was terminal. That's when she decided to do something incredible to help her youngest daughter through life's milestones they would no longer be able to share.

LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - McManamy, who sadly lost her battle with breast cancer earlier this week, knew she was not long for this world. 

McManamy knew she would have to leave Jeff, her husband of thirteen years, and their 4-year-old daughter, Brianna, but she refused to accept her diagnosis sitting down. That was when she decided to leave her daughter, friends and family loving and heartbreaking messages.

To her daughter Brianna, McManamy wrote letters for each milestone from getting her driver's license to having her own child, and told ABC News, "Every one of these that I get to hand out in person will be an accomplishment."

Unfortunately, McManamy passed away before she was able to give Brianna most of the letters.
The McManamy family is not religious, and she asked that no one tell Brianna her mommy was in heaven, saying, "In her mind, that means that I chose to be somewhere else and left her. In reality, I did everything I could to be here with her, as there is nowhere, NOWHERE, I would rather be than with her and Jeff. Please don't confuse her and let her think for one second that is not true."

Despite her religious views, McManamy was able to leave friends and family a final goodbye, which her husband, Jeff, posted on Facebook:

"I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is, apparently, I'm dead. The good news is that if you're reading this, you are most definitely not (unless they have wifi in the afterlife). Yes, this sucks. It sucks beyond words, but I'm just so beyond grateful that I lived a life so full of love, joy and amazing friends...

"Jeff and I were inseparable from the moment we met and every day was full of love and laughter. We moved to Jeff's hometown of McFarland and were married May 20, 2006. After years of fun, binge drinking, irresponsibility and countless awesome adventures, we welcomed our daughter, Brianna Noelle McManamy, into our family on April 22, 2011 (the happiest day of our lives). 

"That is when the fun really began. I loved every second of being Bri's mommy and will love her with my whole heart and be proud of her for all eternity.

"With my stage four cancer diagnosis in 2014, we made the decision to live life, rather than focus on the unfairness of the universe. And live, we did. I was unbelievably lucky to live life the way I did, in the moment and appreciating every day.

"My life was a dream and, despite cancer, often too good to be true. From our magical Disney trip to Mommy Mondays to our Badger Football excitement, to simply snuggling and having dance parties at home, every moment was cherished. I love nothing more than being Brianna's mommy. And I truly believe that the laughter and love we shared will live on forever. It's all still here. My love and support will embrace Brianna eternally and I will always, always be proud of her. 

"Brianna, if you close your eyes, I will always be right by your side. I'll whisper I love you in the wind that blows your curls and as you keep moving on, my love for you will never die, it will always stay strong.

Most importantly, I was unbelievably lucky to spend over a decade with the love of my life and my best friend. True love and soulmates do exist. Every day was full of laughter and love with Jeff by my side. He is genuinely the best husband in the universe.

"Even on the worst days you could imagine, we found a way to laugh together. I love him more than life itself and I believe that a love like ours is so special it will live forever. Time is the most precious thing in this world and to have shared my life for so long with Jeff is something I am incredibly grateful for. I love you, Jeff. I believe that the awesomeness that is Brianna is our love brought to life, which is pretty beautiful. It absolutely breaks my heart to have to say goodbye.

"If it's half as sad for you as it is for me, it breaks my heart over again because the last thing I ever want to do is make you sad. I hope that with time, you can think of me and smile and laugh, because, wow, did we have a magnificent life. Go google Physicist's Eulogy and know that it is a scientific fact I will always be with you and Bri in some way.

"I hate making people sad, so please don't think of me with pity or sadness. Smile, friends, knowing that we had a blast together and that time was amazing.

"Please laugh at the memories we made and the fun we had and tell Bri stories so she always knows how much I love her and how I wanted nothing more than to be here with her (and make me sound waaay cooler than I am please). And don't say I lost to cancer. Because cancer may have taken almost everything from me, but it never took my love or my hope or my joy. 

"It wasn't a "battle" it was just life, which is often brutally and randomly unfair, and that's simply how it goes sometimes. I didn't lose. The way I lived for years with cancer is something I consider a pretty big victory.

"I came to discover that as you age, your family includes all those you love and ours is far too extensive to list here. But, you know who you are. Thank you for making our life so full of happiness, hilarity and love. Next time you open a bottle of wine to soak in a sunset, please think of me and smile.

"...I love you all, friends, and thank you for the most wonderfully awe-inspiring life. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you long, healthy lives and I hope you can experience the same appreciation for the gift of each day that I did. If you go to my funeral, please run up a bar tab that would make me proud. And there had better be a dance party at some point. 

"Celebrate the beauty of life because you know that's what I want and I believe that in a weird way, I will be there too (you know how much I hate missing out on fun). Know that I want you to wear whatever makes you happy (yes, I mean those ridiculously cute shoes that you never have the occasion to wear). 

"The service should be a celebration. I look forward to haunting each one of you, so this isn't so much a goodbye as it is see you later. And please remember to take a moment now and then during this crazy life to remind yourself that every day matters. 

"And, lastly, a book: Cards for Brianna: A Lifetime of Lessons and Love From a Dying Mother to Her Daughter, written with multiple inspiration book author William Croyle. The timing couldn't have been crazier, but talk about an amazing alignment of the stars to have something so positive and fun to focus on."

In lieu of flowers, McManamy asked that people donate toward Brianna on their GoFundMe fundraiser, the proceeds of which will be used for funeral costs and a small memorial. All excess donations will be used for dance and swim lessons for Brianna as well as college tuition.

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