It's Good to be a Helicopter Parent: Peg Luksik on Mother's Day and Parenthood

Mothers were designed to hover

If we truly valued our children, we would value those who care for them, just as we value the jewelers who care for diamonds.  In the case of the jeweler, we don't tell him not to "hover".  We listen to, respect, and follow his advice because we understand that he knows more about his diamonds than we do.

P>HARRISBURG, PA. (Catholic Online) - The education establishment has a new term, "helicopter parent".  They use it to refer to parents who hover over their children.  They now warn parents not to be helicopter parents, but to stay out of the way and let the educators have full control.

One wonders if they have somehow lost the definition of the word "parent".  And especially "mother".

We mothers spent nine months living with each of our children, 24/7.  We felt every kick, roll, and hiccup.  We could tell if they liked what we were listening to, or what we ate.  We knew if the child living within us was energetic or calm even before we saw that child's face.

And when each of our little ones moved into his own living space, we knew what every cry meant.  We knew how that tiny person liked to be held, and how to make her smile.  And when those smiles happened, our whole day was brighter.

We encouraged the first steps and the first words.  We bandaged the first boo-boos.  We watched each milestone our child passed on his way to independence with equal parts of pride and bittersweet joy.

We shared in every triumph, with even more pride than we took in any action of our own.  And we suffered with our children, sharing in their pain in ways deeper than we could ever have imagined. We know the favorite flavor of ice cream, the favorite color, and the favorite movie of each of our children.

When they become adults, we stand proudly at graduations and weddings and wonder how the toddler became the grown-up in just one day.

Each of our children moved out of our wombs, but none of them moved out of our hearts. 

Mothers were designed to hover.  And children were designed to thrive when they are so cherished.
It's beyond sad that we live in a world where that natural relationship is denigrated instead of respected. 

Where our children are taught that the person who brought them into the world is "just a mother", whose value to society is somehow second-class.  Where even the title "Mother" is diluted to include any and all women, as if those who bear children are not doing something unique and valuable.

The most disturbing part of this new world view is the harm it does to children.  If a woman is "just a mother", than the little one she nurtures is "just a child".  Not a unique and priceless and eternal addition to the universe who was called into life by an almighty Father, but just another kid who is no different from all the others.

If we truly valued our children, we would value those who care for them, just as we value the jewelers who care for diamonds.  In the case of the jeweler, we don't tell him not to "hover".  We listen to, respect, and follow his advice because we understand that he knows more about his diamonds than we do.

We mothers know our little diamonds better than any jeweler.  Instead of telling us not to hover, perhaps it would be wise to listen to what we have to say.  And perhaps we mothers need to get back into our helicopters and insist upon it.

Happy Mother's Day!
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Peg Luksik is the Chairman of the Center for American Heritage. Learn more about the heritage of this exceptional nation at www.centerforamericanheritage.com  

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