Married couples: Going from dual income to no income

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (MCT) - The rise of dual-earner families is a double-edged phenomenon. Two breadwinners can increase families' financial security and protect from the possible loss of a sole wage earner's job

But as unemployment creeps up, more married couples are finding both spouses out of work.

For instance, furloughs of flight crews from Midwest Airlines have sent a number of pilot/flight attendant couples flocking to Milwaukee HIRE Center for assistance. But even couples in incongruent fields are getting his-and-hers pink slips.

"You can see where couples could really have a hard time," says Mark Heup, a displaced supply chain manager, whose wife, Julie, is an unemployed engineer.

Going from two to zero working spouses can complicate efforts to sustain the family and search for new jobs, says Keith Bender, an economist at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.

"Not only is there the financial hit," Bender says, "but the psychological element of 'Now what is the family going to do?'"

Here's how three laid-off couples are coping, plus tips from the experts:

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MARK AND JULIE HEUP: COUPLE WRESTLES WITH POSSIBILITY OF FINDING NEW WORK IN DIFFERENT CITIES

SLINGER, Wis. _ Mark and Julie Heup delayed starting a family until they got their careers going, built some savings and had a home.

When their son Matthew was born in 2005, and with Julie working 50 hours or more a week and taking graduate classes, Mark managed more family time while still maintaining high-level management positions. The family found a balance that worked for them.

Then the economy upset their plans.

Julie, 40, a structural engineer at Graef-USA, lost her job in November when suddenly clients could no longer get financing for construction projects.

Last month, Mark, also 40, got caught in a downsizing at Dickten Masch Plastics, where he was sourcing director.

Mark received some severance, and they have some rainy-day cash. But their combined benefits from unemployment insurance will amount to about one-fifth of what they used to earn.

The hardest part, Mark says, is shortchanging their son.

"Every once in a while, when I think about Matt, I'm sad," Mark says.

They have more time together, yes, but it's strained by stress and distractions. They hush him to use his inside voice when the phone rings. They take turns secluded from him so they can focus on their job searches.

They pulled Matthew out of day care, except for a couple of days a week, paid for by Julie's parents. They suspended saving for Matthew's college fund.

"You're at a point in a career where you can provide everything," Mark says. "And now you struggle with wondering whether you can do that."

They moved back to Wisconsin from Denver four years ago to be nearer their own families. Mark is pursuing leads in the Milwaukee area, but next week, he and Julie have separate interviews in three states.

"Since Mark joined me in the unemployment ranks, anywhere is a possibility," Julie says. "We love it here and really would like to stay, but we have to go where the work is."

They're considering how it would work to have jobs in different cities. They have talked about Julie starting a business or putting her career on hold to focus on one job.

By nature, Mark and Julie say, they're optimists. They're a team. They race two-person sailboats together _ a hobby that they're dry-docking for now. It has taught them to respond together to conditions beyond their control.

"It's important to concentrate on what's important, which is your family and your support network, and to keep a positive outlook," Julie says. "We're going to get through this. We're going to be together as a family. Things happen for a reason, and we're going to come out better on the other end of this somehow. We just have to keep an open mind and see where it leads us."

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MARK AND BRENDA BOYCE: KEEPING THE FAITH THROUGH HER SIXTH LAYOFF AND HIS FIRST

MENOMONEE FALLS, Wis. _ In 23 years at the same marketing firm, Mark Boyce sought out projects and engaged in freelance work that taught him new technologies and advanced his skills, and made him indispensable to the company. He thought.

In August, the company dispensed with Mark's job.

About the same time, as luck would have it, his wife, Brenda, got a chance at a full-time position with benefits and more pay than she was earning at two part-time jobs as a hydrogeologist.

Then one day in January, Brenda came home from work early with her belongings in a box _ a casualty of her new employer's efforts to adjust to declining business.

"I could see where if you were a forlorn individual this could take you down, because things out there are really bleak," Mark says.

In her working life, Brenda, who's 48, has endured six layoffs. For Mark, also 48, this is a first. On one hand, he is enthused by the challenge. He has designed his own Web site _ markboycecreative.com _ and he has embraced opportunities to network and to showcase his capabilities.

"This would be fun if not for the underlying anxiety," Mark says.

On the other hand, they worry, wondering when their fortunes will turn.

"The fact that we're both off during an economic crisis means it's harder to find a job," Brenda says. "The companies that normally would be hiring or even entertaining your resume are just not. So there's just that fear of not knowing how long it will take until one of us finds a job."

Brenda hopes that government stimulus programs shake loose an opportunity for her as an environmental consultant.

Mark likens getting an interview to being nominated for an Oscar. From 330 resumes distributed so far, he has had four interviews for director positions in creative services. In one case, he learned he was one of 170 candidates.

Their pleasures are relatively simple. They enjoy the outdoors _ biking, canoeing, an occasional ski trip, working in their yard. Their three cars average 12 years and 177,000 miles. Their only debt is their mortgage.

By cutting expenses and siphoning off savings from their severance packages and an inheritance, Brenda figures they can survive on unemployment compensation through the summer. After that, they would have to consider selling the house that they and their three daughters have had since 2000.

Like his job, Mark has put much of himself into the house, clearing the partially wooded lot for its construction, designing the house's layout.

Mark jokes that it's trendy to be out of work. He and Brenda have welcomed friends dropping by with food and support. They have valued extra time at home with their children after school.

Mark credits Brenda's assurance. God has always provided for her family, Brenda says, and though this time is extraordinary, she doesn't expect to be forsaken.

"We've never been in such a situation where we've had to do without or been kicked out of our house," Brenda says. "So I just have this deep, abiding faith that things are going to work out."

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DAN AND SHARON MORIN: NEW BUSINESS HELPS COUPLE COPE

ADELL, Wis. _ Dan and Sharon Morin are struggling to hang on to what they have.

They have a big old house that Dan, 57, has lived in since about the last time the economy was so merciless. His mother lived there before him.

He had been squirreling away money for a new roof and windows to cut heating costs. But since he and Sharon lost their jobs, those savings have drained to other priorities _ such as keeping up on the mortgage and utility bills and medical expenses.

"You're just worrying all the time about bills," says Sharon, who's 54.

"You can't go to sleep at night," Dan says. "The second you wake up, it's all you're thinking about. It just never goes away."

Three years ago, they lost their jobs together at Gehl Co.

Dan had been there 20 years, starting out painting farm and construction equipment and working his way into the tool room.

Sharon worked five years assembling farm implements at Gehl. Before that, she had an assortment of jobs _ assisting patients at a nursing home, temping at a mold maker, and for 12 years, buffing cooking utensils at Regal Ware.

With federal training benefits awarded to former Gehl workers, Sharon got her GED and then earned certification as a massage therapist. She opened her own business, Heart and Hand Therapeutic Massage, in an office building in Random Lake last August.

"Probably about the worst time in history to start a business," Dan says.

"True," Sharon says.

But it's what she has longed to do. He encouraged her to pursue it. So far, it's bringing in enough money to cover the business expenses. With more customers, she hopes to generate income.

"Now is the time most of all when people should be getting massages _ for the stress," Sharon says.

Dan has always managed to find work before, mostly in manufacturing, including supervising, but he also has been a farmhand, a caddy, a veterinary assistant, a construction laborer and a pile driver. He has worked eight months in the last two years, including at an industrial equipment maker that ended his job in December.

"I always have been very patient," Dan says. "But patience gets short because you're constantly thinking about paying bills and getting a job."

The other morning he found not a single manufacturing position in 36 Web pages of job openings. When he finds a job, he says, often the pay is no better than what he made years ago.

Until Sharon's business picks up and Dan finds a job, they're cutting back wherever they can.

They're forgoing some of their prescriptions, including Sharon's blood-pressure medication. They're putting off regular health checkups and seeing the dentist. Dan hasn't had a colonoscopy since he left Gehl, though he should, based on family history.

"I've always been one to do whatever it takes, you know, find side jobs, whatever," Dan says. "Now, even that option isn't that great anymore."

He credits Sharon for supporting him so far. She returns the sentiment.

"He's my rock," Sharon says, "ever since I met him. He takes care of me."

"Till now," Dan says with a nervous chuckle.

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HANDLING HIS-AND-HERS PINK SLIPS

Marital discord, domestic violence and substance abuse are frequent family fallout from job loss, say Hollis Even, a psychotherapist, and Randy Martin, a psychologist, for Milwaukee-based FEI Behavioral Health. They offer tips to unemployed couples on enduring job loss:

_ Communicate openly, regularly and respectfully, avoiding blame.

_ Agree to take turns being the more supportive and optimistic partner.

_ Seek a wide network of support from friends, extended family and former colleagues so you don't rely solely on one another.

_ Count your blessings. "It's about keeping things in perspective and knowing what you do have at this point," says Martin, an FEI account executive.

_ Take control. "Whatever you can do on your end to be active, as opposed to passive, and to take steps to improve your situation is going to make you feel better," Martin says.

_ Keep children informed in age-appropriate ways. "It's better to tell the truth than to have kids guess at what the truth is," says Even, FEI's director of corporate accounts. Don't sugarcoat things, but minimize negativity.

_ Involve children in activities such as cutting household spending. "Engaging the kids makes it kind of a family project, and it doesn't feel so dire," Even says.

_ Show children by example how to positively handle setbacks. "Kids don't learn as much from what you say as from observing what you do," Martin says.

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© 2009, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.