Immigrant parents want children to remember their roots

South Florida Sun-Sentinel (MCT) - Deborah David sits at her dining room table playing with a handful of goat bones.

She's introducing her daughter to the Haitian game Wosle, which resembles jacks. Her 5-year-old, Lyrah, watches in amazement as David scrambles to pick up the shiny bones while juggling one in the air.

It's a game David mastered during her summer vacations in Haiti, a link to her culture, and one of many Haitian pastimes she plans to pass along to her two children.

But making a firm decision on which of her Haitian cultural traditions to pass on to her daughter and 10-month-old son is no simple toss-up.

"I often find myself in a predicament of choosing between what would be acceptable in Haitian vs. American culture," David said. She recently launched the blog balancedmeltingpot.wordpress.com where she writes about these cultural dilemmas.

At a time when the first- and second-generation immigrant community is booming in South Florida, David is among many parents who belong to this hyphenated American generation, some of whom are wrestling with what aspects of their culture to keep alive as they themselves become more "American."

There are more than 60 million first- and second-generation immigrants in the United States, about a quarter of the population, according to 2004 census data, the latest numbers available.

They say the cultural dilemma sometimes surfaces as early as when they have to settle on a name for their son or daughter. But there are other pesky issues, like whether or not to have a quince, use a chaperon, or insist on having traditional Greek dance at a wedding.

"The older generation of immigrants are usually holding on to their culture and values," said Lena Hall, associate professor in the social and behavioral sciences division at Nova Southeastern University. "But the second generation tends to be more of a 'unique species' because they're not purely the old culture or the new culture. They have a combination of values."

Alex Sofianos, a mechanic and father of four, is keeping his culture alive by teaching traditional Greek dances.

"I grew up going to Greek school and I wore the traditional (white cotton) fustanella and the kilt," he said.

At St. George's Orthodox Greek Church in Hollywood, Fla., where they practice, the young dancers are as into the dips and turns as he is. And the fusion of culture is obvious in their dance gear. Some of the boys wear basketball shorts bearing the NBA logo along with knee-high leather boots used for traditional Greek dance that belonged to their grandfathers.

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Cyndi Sofianos, 18, shares Greek sayings with her friends, but said it's also nice to be in a setting where everyone's familiar with their traditions.

"I definitely want to pass the culture on to my children," she said.

But even the most well-intentioned parents say there is no easy guide on how _ or whether _ to preserve cultural habits.

Yanira Agosta, of Lantana, Fla., said she insisted on familiarizing her two children with cultural customs from El Salvador. She's in the midst of planning a quince, the Hispanic rite of passage ritual for girls turning 15, for her daughter Ashley.

"I gave my daughter a choice of having a Sweet 16 or a quince," said Agosta, while browsing for quince dresses at Humberto's Florist & Bridals in Lake Worth. "But she said, 'I'm Spanish, I want a quince.'"

Agosta, a housekeeper, said she was relieved by her daughter's choice. It will include rituals like her daughter dancing first with her father and changing from a slipper to a high heel, symbols of a girl's transition into womanhood.

"It has opened up a whole conversation about traditions," Agosta said.

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© 2008, Sun Sentinel.