Mothering a large family requires a generous, joyful heart, say moms

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (CNS) - The Gould family's spacious two-story brick home, located on a cul-de-sac near Nashville's Warner Park, looks like hundreds of other nearby suburban houses, well-maintained, with a neatly trimmed lawn and playground equipment in the backyard.

But something about this household is different. Instead of having two or three children, the average number for families today, Ellen and Dave Gould have eight, the youngest born in April. The Gould children attend St. Henry School, play baseball, watch a big-screen TV, play outside with the neighbors, and argue with their mother about eating junk food and doing their homework. "You can have a normal suburban life with more than three children," Ellen Gould told the Tennessee Register, the official newspaper of the Nashville Diocese. "Sure, it's overwhelming at times, but you grow into your family." With the help of family, friends and a strong grounding in the Catholic faith, moms in the Diocese of Nashville who are raising multiple young children said they joyfully rise to the challenge of motherhood. Jean Robinson said she and her husband, Mark, have always "been open to God's direction for our family," and feel blessed to have six children. Even if "secular culture is not supportive of large families," Robinson said, she has found a community of like-minded families who value motherhood, "are in the same trenches with raising kids ... and on the same page with morality issues." Outside her tightknit Catholic school and parish communities, Robinson does receive curious questions about her family of eight, but is happy to respond to inquiries. "I like to travel as a large group whenever possible," she said. "It provides a silent witness that having children is a good thing and not a burden." Robinson, a member of Assumption Parish, always makes an effort to smile and speak to large families she does not know yet. The mother often bears the brunt of the criticism from outsiders, she said, so she tries to be positive to other moms with a large number of children. Gould, who has lived all over the country, said attitudes toward her big family "depend on where you live." Out West or in the Northeast, "where it is so anti-cultural to have more than two children," she said she always stood out having five. Since the Goulds moved to Nashville five years ago and had three more children, attitudes have been "mixed" toward her large family, she said, and "almost always they cannot believe it." RoseMary Fisher, a St. Henry parishioner and mother of seven, said she used to get offended when people made rude comments about her family. "I'm at peace about it now," she said. "I am extremely proud of my family and that I have this many children." Fisher, who grew up with eight siblings, said she hopes to impart the same values to her children that she received from her parents. "Growing up in a big family helped me be selfless," she said. "I had to constantly give. ... I think that's why I'm capable of opening my heart to this many children." Having nine children "is a constant reminder that it's not about me," said Laura Turnage, a St. Joseph parishioner who has five girls and four boys, ranging in age from 2 to 23. "God needed to teach me not to be selfish." Whatever she and her husband, Les, have given up to raise nine children, whether material possessions or personal free time, "doesn't seem like a sacrifice," Turnage said. The children "teach me a lot."

Announcing NEW Catholic Online News - Visit Today!

---

Copyright (c) 2007 Catholic News Service/U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops