Canadian Catholic News: Catholic ministers urged to avoid 'superhuman' trap, balance home, work, health

SASKATOON, Canada (CCN/Prairie Messsenger) - Establishing healthy boundaries that balance work, home and health was the challenge recently placed before a group involved in parish, youth and diocesan ministry across the Diocese of Saskatoon.

Finding a healthy balance can be a challenge to those in ministry, said facilitator Rhonda Gough, a psychologist and counselor with Catholic Family Services. She was addressing a gathering of lay and religious held Jan. 30 at St. Francis Xavier Parish here. Ministry involves a calling and a mission, and is part of "doing God's work." As a result, it can create unrealistically high demands. "None of us can ever quite be St. Theresa," said Gough. "Part of the job is evangelizing, bringing people in, so how can you not feel that there is always more demanded of you?" Gough pointed out that the drive always to be doing more is not unique to ministry, but is found in many professions and on many job sites: wherever people see it as a "badge of honor" to go above and beyond the call of duty, putting in extra hours, refusing to take holidays and always being available to the workplace. Sometimes the imbalance rises out of a "need to be needed," she said, and the conviction that giving a job your all will shield you from criticism. "Then the good martyr in me comes out." The problem is, that sort of imbalance takes a toll in many areas - health, home and the work itself, said Gough. Knowing and understanding one's job description and understanding how it matches your skill set is a starting point in establishing professional and personal boundaries, she said. Each person also has a "contract" with other important people in his or her life, whether that be a spouse, children, family or friend. "You have an agreement, for instance, about how you live together as a family, and a lot of that has to do with time. If we're always cutting time from our home and family life," she noted, "then we have a problem." Work can also be used to avoid other things in life, such as family commitments or building intimacy with a spouse. It can also take priority over health considerations. "What amount of self care am I not taking responsibility for?" she asked, citing the need for adequate exercise, nutrition and down time if burnout is to be avoided. Creating a "superhuman" work model sends a message to others in our lives, Gough added. "What message am I giving my kids, my colleagues? Am I telling them that they also should live lives of martyrdom?" Gough considered boundaries from a number of perspectives, including professional and personal boundaries, what healthy boundaries look like, the stress and burnout that result from having poor or no boundaries and the boundaries of ethical ministry. She placed the discussion in the context of "Responsibility in Ministry: A Statement of Commitment," a document issued by the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops (CCCB). Personal boundaries - both physical and emotional - in relationships and within the context of ministry were also discussed. The CCCB document addresses such areas as confidentiality and serving each person without discrimination, as well as the unacceptability of all forms of sexual, emotional or physical abuse. Creating just working conditions for employees, and "a cooperative and harmonious work atmosphere that respects family life" are among other goals identified in the document, which also calls for good stewardship of funds and assets and adherence to copyright laws. Gough challenged the gathering to examine the concept of just working conditions within ministry. "Is it different for me if I'm in the sandwich generation of raising kids and aging parents than it might be if I am in a different place in my life? What do just working conditions look like? What job flexibility is reasonable?" Justice also demands that there be reasonable compensation for work that is done, she said. "For the church to hire someone at a rate of salary that's below the poverty line is unconscionable. That is not okay. It is unethical and sinful," Gough asserted. The CCCB document also challenges the church to "avoid pressuring people to donate their professional or other skills for which they would be entitled to just remuneration." It's an area where there must be some thought given to the boundaries involved in the dynamics of volunteer work, Gough noted.

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