Book offers secrets of sucessful thinking, learning, communicating to teens

St. Paul, Minn. (Top 20 Press) - Do you think there is something outside of you that, if you could get it, would make a wonderful difference in your life?

In the following excerpt from their book Top 20 Teens: Discovering the Best-Kept Thinking, Learning and Communicating Secrets of Successful Teenagers, authors Paul Bernabei, Tom Cody, Mary Cole, Michael Cole and Willow Sweeney ask young people this provocative question as part of their offering of helpful hints to young people about success and the ability to obtain it, hold on to it and grow it. Most young people would answer 'yes' to that question. "If they could just get those clothes or shoes, that new IPod or computer game, that skateboard or car, that boyfriend or girlfriend, that job or position on the team or part in the play, and so on and so on and so on, then their life would be better." That's an answer to the question. But if it's the only answer, it doesn't put you in charge of your life. There's another answer. It's true that there is something that can make your life, relationships and experiences better. It's just not out there. It's inside. The quality of your life, relationships and experiences can be made better by something that is in each individual. We're going to call that your potential. What's that? Your potential is a power in you that waits and waits and waits for you to discover it so it can be activated, come alive and work through you to make a positive difference in the quality of your life, relationships and experiences. When this happens, your potential also makes a positive difference in the lives of other people. You were born with this special potential. God gave it to you. It makes you unique. Your job is to believe that it's there, discover it and let it explode in wonderful ways. How can you do that? By reading and taking seriously Top 20 TLC. What's Top 20 TLC? If you think of potential, one of three things happens with any person, group, family or team. 1. Some people develop very little of their potential. They are capable of so much more. It just doesn't happen. There a lots of people in this category.
2. Some people do ok. They seem to be getting along ok and achieving what you might expect. There are lots of people in this category. We're going to call these two groups the Bottom 80. 3. Some people go off the charts. Their potential explodes. They seem to be achieving more than you would expect. There aren't as many of these people as in the Bottom 80, but they do exist. We'll call them the Top 20. What makes the difference between the Top 20 and the Bottom 80? They Think, Learn and Communicate (TLC) differently than the Bottom 80. Because they TLC differently, they make a bigger difference in their lives, relationships and experiences. Be careful not to compare people. It's not going to do you much good to think of those people as Top 20s and these people as Bottom 80s. What is much more helpful for you is to realize that inside you is both a Top 20 and a Bottom 80. There's a part of you that has potential to TLC like a Top 20, to TLC in highly effective ways. There's also a part of you that TLCs like a Bottom 80, in highly ineffective ways. So what's this series about? It's about becoming aware of POWER in you. It's about becoming aware of the power in you to TLC in highly effective ways so you can make a positive difference in your life, relationships and experiences. In your life you will either discover that POWER or you won't. Here's an opportunity to do that. Hope you choose to take it!! A New Formula for Success One of the things you're probably experiencing as a teenager is confusion about success. What is success and how do you get it? The answer depends on what you are trying to be successful at. Ultimately there's only one really important thing at which you need to succeed - being you. Regarding this endeavor success is the satisfaction that comes from doing and being your best. As a formula it can look like this: Success = Good Ride + Good Results Success means that you are experiencing or getting what's most important to you (Good Results) while you are enjoying what you are experiencing (Good Ride). It means that in the process of your total life experiences you are developing qualities and talents and become more fully who you are capable of being. In other words, success comes when your potential happens. "My first part of high school ripped me apart socially and academically and lowered my self-esteem. I needed my Star Qualities back. TLC did it. I found my true self." --Jimmy TLC helps this happen in three ways. • Better thinking which develops your 'self-smarts'
• Better learning which develops your 'school-smarts'
• Better communicating which develops your 'people-smarts' The Big Myth In school so much of what is focused on is related to your IQ, your Intelligence Quotient. IQ means book-smarts, your natural brain power, which most people this is the major reason for success in school and in life. You are usually graded and evaluated on IQ performance. Consequently, many students feel disadvantaged. They don't think they have the brain-smarts that others have. Therefore, they believe they can't be successful. This is the BIG MYTH. IQ is not what makes the difference between the Top 20 and Bottom 80. Rather, the biggest thing that separates the Top 20 from the rest is that they have developed their EQ, their Emotional Quotient. EQ is another way of becoming smart. It's a new way of becoming self-smart, school-smart and people-smart. The truth is that EQ is more important in your becoming successful in life than IQ. The good news is that your Emotional Intelligence can be developed and improved. IQ and EQ can be compared to the wheels of a bicycle. The back wheel drives the bike and the front wheel steers the bike. The back wheel represents our IQ and the front wheel our EQ. Where we finally end up is the result of our EQ, front wheel which is steering the bike, It is this wheel over which we have direct control when we grab the handle bars. It is our EQ over which we have direct control when we work on our TLC. The concepts we will cover in this series will help you develop your EQ. They will help you take control of the handle bars and steer your life in the direction you want to go. The Importance of EQ Let's look at another formula for success: Success = IQ x EQ Imagine your IQ and EQ being on a scale of 1-10. If you have an average IQ of five and a low EQ of two, your total success score would be ten. Let's take a few examples: Example 1: Sally is bright (IQ = 8) and has her hand up all the time. She lacks friends because she is arrogant, boastful and irritates people. Sally doesn't have many people skills (EQ = 2). Her success total is only 16. Sally's Success = 8 (IQ) x 2 (EQ) = 16 Example 2: Andy has average brainpower (IQ = 5). He never gets A's and struggles to get B's and C's. He is dependable, trustworthy and brings out the best in others (EQ = 8). His success total is 40, more than double that of Sally. Andy's Success = 5 (IQ) x 8 (EQ) = 40 If Sally increases her EQ by developing some TLC skills and Star Qualities, she would improve the 'ride' she is having through high school and the rest of her life. For many students there is a gap between their tested IQ and their GPA. In other words, many bright students are getting poor grades. Their real IQ may be eight but they are performing as if their IQ is only four. This can happen when a student's low or negative EQ smothers their true IQ. By improving their EQ, they begin to function intellectually at full capacity. Michael is an example of this. As a student he did not have 'school-smarts'. His naturally high IQ was stifled by his low EQ. When he took his college entrance exam, he got to the fourth question and knew it was a lost cause. He finished the test by guessing at the remaining questions. When his counselor talked to him about college, Michael was told that there weren't many options. It wasn't until Michael was 25 when he learned and began to apply TLC concepts to raise his EQ. His life began to explode into extraordinary personal and professional success. When average IQ students become aware of this possibility, they see potential for positive change in their lives. Yes, there is hope for you. No, you don't have to feel dumb or lonely anymore. What They Never Told You An important part of life is problem-solving and most of life's problems are EQ related. We know that when adults fail in the real world it is not usually because of their lack of intelligence but because of their lack of awareness of themselves or inability to work well with other people. This is even more true in our family life and friendships. Clearly the front wheel is more important than the back. Success is determined more by EQ than by IQ. But the paradox in schools is that the primary focus is placed on IQ. The focus in this series will be on EQ. Here's the secret: YOU have the power to raise your EQ. Therefore, YOU have the power to steer your bike towards greater success. YOU have the power to create a great ride with great results. Time for Action 1. How would you rate yourself on the IQ and EQ Scales (1-10)?
IQ: _____ EQ: _____
2. In which of the EQ area do you most want to improve:
A. Self-smarts B. School-smarts C. People-smarts
In the articles that follow over the next few months, you'll discover power within you to develop your EQ and explode your potential. This excerpt is first in a series from the book Top 20 Teens.

Announcing NEW Catholic Online News - Visit Today!

---

Republished by Catholic Online with permission of Top 20 Press. Copies of the book Top 20 Teens may be ordered at Top 20 Press (www.top20training.com).