Family focus at Christmas needed to avoid the post-season debt load

EDMONTON, Canada (CCN/Western Catholic Reporter) - People who don't have a clear focus on what Christmas is about and shop without a strategy will likely end up adding to their debt load.

To avoid going overboard, according to two priests and a financial advisor, one should determine one's budget, communicate with family members and decide the total amount of money one has to spend for gifts. Those who decide to use credit should only borrow what they can repay within a month, said Dan Roy, a St. Albert, Canada-based financial advisor. "I would say if you cannot do it in 30 days then obviously you have gone over the line." Father Jim Corrigan, pastor of Canadian parishes in Wetaskiwin and Ponoka, said Christmas is all about relationships and God's love for us. But acknowledging that spending at Christmas is somewhat unavoidable, he recommends doing it with prudence. "If we must spend, we need to kind of plan a little bit. We budget for our groceries and our rent, why can't we budget for Christmas as well?" Still paying for '05 Many people are still paying off their credit cards from last Christmas. In the back of people's minds, they know that their stress will be worse in January when they face a stack of bills they can't repay. Roy said advertising drives children to want things their friends have. Parents sometimes get pushed "way over the edge" trying to comply. "I think in many cases the alternative to that is spending the time and having the special family time as opposed to just buying the things that would make the children have what they want." Roy, a father of three, said in many cases children ask for "things," but what "they are really craving is a united family and parents who don't have to be away at work all the time." "In many cases if they just had the happy family Christmas that would be a lot of what they are looking for," he said. Father Brian Jayawardhana, a counseling psychologist with Edmonton Catholic Social Services here, said many people get depressed at this time of the year - some because they suddenly realize they'll be lonely for Christmas, others because they can't afford the financial demands of the season. Happiness depends on our focus at Christmas, said the Oblate priest. "What's the most important thing for us at Christmas? If we know what to focus on then we will be less frustrated." Share the joy We can choose to focus on gift giving at Christmas or on the person of Jesus Christ, Father Jayawardhana said. If we choose to focus on Jesus Christ, allowing him to come into our hearts, then everything will be okay, he said. "Then, as a result of that, if you want to share the joy of the Christ-event with other people, you can reach out in friendship and even in the giving of little gifts, even a card," he said. Father Corrigan agreed Christmas could be a difficult time for many people. "It's very, very easy, Catholic or not, to get caught up in the hype of the Christmas season from a secular perspective." 'It's all about us' The priest said the problem with Christmas-giving is that we generally give to people who already have and we usually give because we want them to think well of us. "In other words, it is all about us." One should give to those who don't have, he said, adding that if deciding to give to everybody else, then one should budget for it. "Be realistic and ask yourself what's my motivation for doing this," Father Corrigan urged. "When we think about spending money that we don't necessarily have," he said, "that's when we have to ask ourselves the question: Is this going to enhance my relationship with the Lord or not?" Ten years ago, Father Corrigan's father, Douglas, made a rule: no presents in the house at Christmas. "It was very interesting because, of course, there are seven of us kids and so everybody wanted to give somebody else something," he said. "But Dad kind of stood his ground on that and said, 'No, if you want to give something, give to charity. But there is no reason for us to be spending a bunch of money when everybody already has what they need.'" The Corrigans buy for nephews and nieces, but the adults are pretty much on their own. This has forced them to focus on family and relationships, the priest said. "What I find on Christmas Day when we are at the house with mom and dad, people actually talking to each other because we are not sitting around the tree waiting to see what the next person got for a present," Father Corrigan said. Nice, but not expensive Father Jayawardhana suggested people do as he does - buy little gifts - or like his Aunt Lila used to do - make things herself and then give them to people. "People don't expect expensive gifts, except little kids," the priest said. "But even kids would be happy with something that's pretty, something that's nice but is not expensive." Father Jayawardhana's aunt, who died three years ago, used to knit little gifts and put $5 in a card and give it to people, he said. Focus on Jesus "The main thing is what you focus on," Father Jayawardhana said. "If you focus on the coming of Christ into your heart then you'll be able to bring joy to a lot of people. When we are able to welcome him in our hearts then everything else will fall into place." Buying a bunch of presents and spending a lot of money is the easy way to take care of things, Roy said. "It's easier to do than to take the time away from all the other things to spend time together and enjoy the Christmas season." Roy recommends families sit down and talk about "what would be the best Christmas for each person." "I think the surprising part of it is," he said, "that it's not only about expensive presents."

Enjoy Daily Readings? Pay it Forward

---

Republished by Catholic Online with permission of the Canadian Catholic News Service.

Among CCN governing members is the Western Catholic Reporter (http://www.wrc.ab.ca), serving Catholics in Alberta and published by the Archdiocese of Edmonton.