Family focus: Peace, reconciliation and non-violence

EAST LONGMEADOW, Mass. - In her book, Weaving a Family author Peggy Weber focuses on the challengeof learning strategies to keep peace in a family.

KEEPING PEACE: HOLDING THREADS TOGETHER Think about your wedding. You remember floral bouquets, cake and kisses. Think back to the birth of your child. You may recall fragrant baby powder, darling outfits and tiny hands. Now, think of the first fight in your marriage between husband and wife. Or think of the first time you really got upset with your child as he or she refused to eat those strained beets and spit them back at you. Changing emotions make life a bit of a roller coaster ride. Teenagers have raging hormones and tears. Babies have big burps and tears. And the rest of us have our stressful moments and tears. The lessons of peace and of turning the other cheek and of seeking reconciliation are so important in a family's life. Parents must be big enough to say they are sorry when they make a mistake. And children must learn about being kind and being good to others. The minute a little one makes fun of another the parent must speak up. Having a family that is focused on peace and non-violence is not easy in a world that is filled with murder and war and foul language. Family meetings or late night talks are good ways to bring about peace in the home. REFLECTION How many times have words slipped out of my mouth to hurt someone. They do hurt - like sticks and stones. Help me to think before I speak and to try and put myself in another person's shoes. But also don't let my fear cause me to avoid problems Making messes sometimes leads to great beauty in a family. Let the words "I am sorry" be heard often in my home. And let me try each day to give many hugs, lots of kisses and many kind words. WEAVING LESSONS ON COMMUNICATION - Stick and stones break bones but names will hurt too. Try to avoid name-calling. Children and adults will re-play words like "stupid" or "sissy" over and over in their head. - Watch your mouth. There is nothing positive about swearing or vulgarities. It should not be permitted in your home. It is just a bad habit that can get worse with time. - Accept the fact that everything will not always be nice and rosy. Some people will grow apart from each other. Some people will never apologize. Let it go or it will eat away at you.. - Don't' keep a scoreboard of hurts and helps. A lot of things in life are not fair. Accept it and you will be happier. - Don't avoid difficult topics. If a child or adult has a drinking problem, it is better to talk about it than to pretend it doesn't exist. - Go to confession as a family if it is part of your faith life. It is a great feeling. Or seek out a counselor who can put you back on the right track. --- Peggy Weber a wife and mother of three, is a columnist for The Catholic Observer, the official publication of the Diocese of Springfield, Mass., and the recipient of two national Catholic Press Association Awards. To order a copy of Weaving a Family, send your name and address to: Peggy Weber, 81 Stonehill Rd., East Longmeadow, MA 01028. You may also email the author at: weavingafamily@charter.net. The cost of the book and shipping fee is $11.50. Please make checks payable to Peggy Weber.

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