Clear communication key to building strong family ties

EAST LONGMEADOW, Mass. - In her book, Weaving a Family author Peggy Weber focuses on the importance of clear, concise communication and offers some practical suggestions that may help build healthy communication patterns.

COMMUNICATION: SEEING PATTERNS No one can weave a family well if they are working from different sets of directions or blueprints and making different pattern. A couple, from the very beginning, should try to sit down and figure out what they want out of their family life. They should share their goals and dreams. The trouble is that so often we get caught up in the business of living that we don't have the time to talk things out. A wife might resent the fact that her husband comes home late from work. She wants him to spend more time with the family. However, he might not like working late, but he sees it as necessary to support his family - which also is very important to him. Both people see their family as important but they haven't been able to convey that to each other. Good communications can help couples avoid these kinds of misunderstandings. Communication with children is always a challenge. Whether it is teaching a child his or her first words, or explaining to a teenager why 2 a.m. is not a reasonable curfew, parents must work hard at making children understand what their family is all about. REFLECTION Words are funny things. A parent can hardly wait to hear a child's first one. Then comes the incessant chatter of a toddler. And then there are the stony silences of adolescence. Help me to see that words can be our best friends if used properly. Most misunderstandings come when I am not clear or honest with another. Let me never use words to hurt. And help us to use words wisely. A poem, a letter, a song, a picture, a hug or and understanding look - these are the keys to good communication. WEAVING LESSONS ON COMMUNICATION - Keep a journal for yourself. It is a wonderful way to put your thoughts in order and reflect. It also will be a keepsake for the future. You think you will remember your days and feelings and thoughts. You think you'll remember the cute things your children said and did. However, memories fade with time. - Always let people say what they think in the family - even if it hurts. It's okay for a child to say they don't like something or someone. It is the role of the parent to explain why people behave the way they do. - Children always want to tell you things at bedtime. It is a stalling tactic. But it also is when their day winds down and thoughts come into their head. Take an extra five minutes to listen to them. - Most kids when asked what they did at school will say "nothing." Try to start conversations by asking everyone to share something they learned that day. - Carry on an oral tradition and tell family stories. My husband has given our children a treasure with his boyhood tales of working on a farm and his growing up escapades. - - - Peggy Weber a wife and mother of three, is a columnist for The Catholic Observer, the official publication of the Diocese of Springfield, Mass., and the recipient of two national Catholic Press Association Awards. To order a copy of Weaving a Family, send your name and address to: Peggy Weber, 81 Stone hill Rd., East Longmeadow, MA 01028 You may also e-mail the author at: weavingafamily@charter.net. The cost of the book and shipping fee is $11.50. Please make checks payable to Peggy Weber.

Start the New Year with Prayer | Light your Free Virtual Prayer Candle

---

'Help Give every Student and Teacher FREE resources for a world-class Moral Catholic Education'