Meaningful marriage reminders

EAST LONGMEADOW, Mass. - In her book, Weaving a Family, author Peggy Weber takes a look at the realities of a marriage and provides some helpful suggestions to help couples nurture their relationship.

MARRIAGE: TYING THREADS Families begin when a husband and wife make a commitment to each other. They "tie the knot" and begin the weaving process of their family. Much has been written about marriage. But the most important thing to do when weaving a marriage and family is to keep the knot tied. That beginning step of commitment, if made in good faith, must be the foundation for everything else. In other words, the cloth has begun -there will be mistakes and rips - but don't abandon the project. Even if you have to go back to the beginning, keep at it. There is nothing more worthwhile than a long, lasting union. Romance is wonderful. It is exciting and that first feeling of falling in love is wondrous. But there is nothing more fulfilling and sweet than a marriage that has aged like a good wine. It is worth the work and effort. It shows that a good marriage is beyond price. - - - REFLECTION There are days when my stomach is in knots about a disagreement I have had with my husband. And there are days when I am knotted up so sweetly in his arms in a hug. Somewhere in the middle is most of married life. It is a struggle that has great rewards. Help me to keep my commitment to my husband. Let me see the knots we have tied as things that hold us together, not things that restrain us. Help me to keep at it so that our marriage might be a firm and secure relationship of love. WEAVING LESSONS - Nothing is ever one person's fault alone. Certainly people make mistakes, but usually there are two sides to everything. Try to see the other side. - Keeping a marriage in shape is like keeping a body in shape. It takes work. Exercise your marriage and have a night out at least once a month. Even if you just go to a fast food restaurant and eat a greasy burger. - When you have a disagreement just take some time out for a while. Then write down your concerns and give them to the other person. This usually avoids another argument. Also, when you write thing on paper you can see the problem more clearly. - Don't try to change each other. Nor should you always try to "please" the other spouse. A marriage and a home should be a place of comfortable individual expression. - You don't always have to hold hands and act mushy to show your love. A dozen roses are nice but being willing to clean up after a sick child is nicer. - - - Peggy Weber a wife and mother of three, is a columnist for the Catholic Observer, the official publication of the Diocese of Springfield, Mass., and the recipient of two national Catholic Press Association Awards. To order a copy of Weaving a Family, send your name and address to: Peggy Weber, 81 Stone hill Rd., East Longmeadow, MA 01028 You may also email the author at: weavingafamily@charter.net. The cost of the book and shipping fee is $11.50. Please make checks payable to Peggy Weber.

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