'Weaving a Family' through unrealistic expectations

EAST LONGMEADOW, Mass. - In this multifaceted contribution from her book Weaving a Family, author Peggy Weber looks at the challenge of expectations impacting the lives of families and offers a prayerful reflection an "Weaving lesson," reminders and suggestions to help the reader better cope with daily issues.

Everyone begins their family life with an idea of what it should be like. For some, they want it just the way their life was growing up. For others, they want it to be completely different. For most, their life will be a mix of what they experienced and what their spouse experience growing up. Still, others get their ideas from television or advertising. They think their life should be like Beaver Cleaver's or Cosby's Huxtables. People get disappointed when their Thanksgiving dinner doesn't look like a picture out of the Norman Rockwell Museum. Learning to accept yourself and not rely on expectations are important lessons for a harmonious family. You may want your child to be a super athlete but then he or she would rather paint a picture than throw a ball. This is a time for your to change the pattern, let go of expectations and accept that in weaving this family you must use the materials that are given. You must realize that the child needs to he accepted for who he or she is. Letting go and accepting are important for all aspects of family life. - - - Reflection There are days I want a "happy meal," and that doesn't mean a burger, fries and a toy! I want us to sit and dine graciously - each sharing a nice story of the day. But I know those moments are few and far between. Help me to accept the spontaneity of family life and to appreciate the beauty of each day. Help me to see that macaroni and cheese and a few smile, can be a special time and the fabric of a good family life. Weaving lessons - Everything doesn't have to be a Kodak moment. You will get lost on your way to cut down your Christmas tree. We did No one felt like singing "Jingle Bells." Enjoy the spontaneity that family life offers. - No family is perfect - even the ones who send out Christmas newsletters and cards with the picture of the gorgeous children who get straight A's on their report cards. - A sense of humor always helps. We took the scenic route one day and ran into a wall of fog for miles. We could have grumbled or laughed - we laughed. You should never take things too seriously. - Be open to life's lessons. After something good or bad has happened, sit down and think about it. Then you can try and make the good things happen again and avoid the bad. - Society gives us a lot of images of what a family should be. Don't get caught in that trap. Justlove, be open and the rest should follow Accept your family as they are. - - - Peggy Weber a wife and mother of three, is a columnist for The Catholic Observer, the official publication of the Diocese of Springfield, Mass., and the recipient of two national Catholic Press Association Awards. To order a copy of Weaving a Family, send your name and address to: Peggy Weber, 81 Stonehill Rd., East Longmeadow, MA 01028 You may also email the author at: weavingafamily@charter.net. The cost of the book and shipping fee is $11.50. Please make checks payable to Peggy Weber.

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