'Baby Think It Over' program shows that parenting is no easy task

CHICAGO, Ill. - For Sandra Avorywoskie, it was the way her baby would cry every time she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

That was when her school project - caring for a computerized baby doll for the weekend - suddenly seemed like a lot more than she had signed up for. "I thought it was going to be easy," said Avorywoskie, a senior at Notre Dame High School for Girls in Chicago. "I knew it would be challenging, but it was more work than I thought. I just wanted it to stop crying so I could go to sleep." Avorywoskie took the doll home as part of Marcia Berke's family development class, an elective offered to juniors and seniors. Each student takes a baby home one weekend, and the doll records how well the students handle the task. Did they let it cry too long without responding? Let it go too long between feedings or diaper changes? Handle it roughly? All of that comes out on the report Berke generates when the dolls are returned. Each student gets an electronic tag on a wristband, similar to the identity bands issued at hospitals which cannot be removed without cutting them off. The baby only responds when the person wearing the tag cares for it. This is all part of a program called "Baby Think It Over," which uses dolls from Realityworks, a Wisconsin company that has developed several life skills programs. The baby program is intended to teach students parenting skills while showing them just how much taking care of an infant would affect their everyday lives. Most of the Notre Dame students who take the class can't wait to take a baby home on Friday, said Berke, who gives the girls a choice of a girl or boy doll; the babies also have different skin tones from which to choose. By the time they return Monday, most can't wait to turn the dolls in. Except for the ones who don't show up at school on Monday. "I know what happened to them," Berke told The Catholic New World, the official publication of the Archdiocese of Chicago. "They're too tired. But when they come back, I talk to them and remind them that when you really have a baby and a job, you can't take every Monday off." Senior Marilin Torres found that the baby disturbed not just her, but the rest of her family. "For like two or three hours on Saturday morning, it wouldn't stop crying," Torres said. "I took it in the bathroom so it wouldn't bother my dad. I was like, 'Oh, please, please, please stop crying.' I'd feed it, and then two or three minutes later it would cry again. My dad kept asking if there was an off switch." The babies are meant to look real, and each gets sent home with a diaper bag full of supplies - including diapers and bottles that set off the doll's electronic sensors - and an infant car seat. Since the girls must keep the babies with them all weekend, they also get a taste of how people regard teenage mothers. "Some people were nicer," said Avorywoskie. "I was carrying it through a parking lot, and people slowed down to let me cross." But others weren't as kind. Jazleen Rosado and Torres both got some dirty looks, and even unsolicited advice. "One lady told me I should have a coat on my baby," Torres said. "I was like 'It's a doll.'" To make the program work better, Berke said she met with students who are teenage mothers. All of them said students should take the babies home over a weekend, when it would cramp their social lives, and that Berke should make sure to assign homework, too. "They all said the hard part wasn't at school," she said. "It was when they went home and had to do their homework and take care of the baby, too." Students get some practice in class before taking the babies home, and parents must agree to be responsible if the baby or any of its equipment gets lost or damaged. The babies follow their own schedules, which Realityworks has programmed after observing real infants. They can be programmed to act like infants anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months old, and be fussy, medium or easygoing. Even easygoing babies are difficult to care for, said Rosado, who acknowledged the project made her want to postpone parenthood. "I thought about it more thoroughly. It stops you from so many things," she said.

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Copyright (c) 2007 Catholic News Service/U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops