5 Myths about forgiveness even the nicest people fall for

Forgiveness is a difficult pill to swallow but God encourages us to do so regardless.

We seek forgiveness from God on a daily basis but when someone wrongs us, we remain angry much longer than necessary. If this sounds like you, grab a seat because we've got some pretty harsh truths coming your way.

LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Forgiveness is something we should all offer those who anger, humiliate, or generally rub us the wrong way.

There are many sayings concerning forgiveness but the one thing most people do is offer excuses for why they aren't able to forgive.

The following list, posted by Crosswalk, takes note of the top 5 most common myths surrounding true forgiveness.

It's Not Me, It's Them

It's easy to place blame but the bottom line is simple. Regardless of the situation, if you choose not to forgive, it is a choice you are responsible for making.

It doesn't matter how badly you were hurt by the other party. What matters is you are keeping yourself from forgiving. It may be an excuse or you may truly believe it isn't your fault you can't forgive.

If it is the latter, try examining why you can't forgive them and work on fixing it whether it be through prayer for help or some introspection and time.

Forgive and Forget

We hear this often. Just forgive them and forget what happened, that's how relationships are saved - isn't it?

Wrong. Relationships are saved when you genuinely forgive someone for wronging you but remember what they did so when the next time comes around, you can avoid the situation entirely, thus resuming the friendship without that particular conflict.

This is difficult for most people to grasp, primarily because it would seem that remembering someone's wrongdoing doesn't sound like forgiveness but remember forgiveness is not the same as forgetting, nor should it be.

Forgiving someone for gossip doesn't mean they've changed; it only means you've acknowledged they have wronged you and you have decided not to hold it against them any longer. Don't go blabbing personal information after you've decided to forgive! That's not how it works.

I Expect Them to be Held Accountable for Their Words/Actions

Refusing to forgive someone until they admit they are responsible for whatever it is they did is just an excuse to hold a grudge.

When you hold on to anger, it gives you a pessimistic attitude. Perhaps not all the time but it can definitely change your opinion of things you used to enjoy simply because the other person enjoys it too or makes an appearance and suddenly your mood is negative.

Forgive them already and set yourself free!

I'm Going to Tell Them I Forgive Them

This is exactly the kind of passive-aggressive action that leads to two things:

Making you look bad to other people
Making someone feel a sense of guilt

In some instances it is appropriate to tell a person you've forgiven them, usually when they are asking for your forgiveness and are truly repentant, but the rest of the time it's just you bringing up something they most likely don't care about.

When you take time to say you forgive someone for something, particularly if they didn't know you were holding a grudge the entire time, it only creates a bigger rift.

If you choose to forgive someone, take the high road and prove it by remaining silent.

I'll Forgive Them When I'm Ready

What if you're never ready?

It's easy to hold on to anger - not so easy to offer forgiveness.

Rather than take your time to mull over how upset you are, learn to let things go. So something happened. Bad things happen every single day. People cut you off in traffic but do you spend the rest of your day thinking about it?

Most people don't. If you're one of the people who do, consider seeking professional help. It's not healthy and will bring you down.

Again, putting off forgiveness is just holding a grudge. Forgiveness isn't meant to release someone from the invisible chains of guilt, it's to release you from unnecessary pain.

To truly forgive someone, try looking for the best things about them. Remember the good, rather than focusing on the bad. Stop gossiping about them and stop venting your frustrations at what they did.

If it helps, talk to the person who wronged you, let them know how it made you feel, then let. It. Go. You'll feel much better afterward.

Thank you for reading our list.

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