Fr. Dwight Longenecker Examines Contraception and the Vocations Crisis

Could it be that one of the solutions to the vocations crisis, therefore, is better marriage preparation?

It was within this context of family life that a girls' vocation to the religious life or a boys vocation to religious life or priesthood would have been formed. The young person therefore did not question the demand for a life of self sacrifice. It was assumed that the good life was a life of self sacrifice. The question was therefore, which way of self sacrifice is best for me? Dying to self through marriage and family or dying to self through a religious vocation?

P>GREENVILLE, SC (Catholic Online) - A few weeks ago a young man we'll call David dropped in to see me. David has been working with me discerning a vocation to the priesthood, so it was with some interest that I heard him announce that he had acquired a girlfriend.

We discussed the possibilities and expectations and I came to realize that his expectation of marriage and family life was very different from my own. As a fairly new convert, and one who has had little experience of large Catholic families, David had a totally different expectation of what family life would consist of.

It has often been observed that Catholics who have used artificial contraception have  helped cause the vocations crisis because there are simply not enough Catholic boys and girls being born to provide the next generation of priests, brothers, nuns and sisters, but my conversation with David made me realize that the contraceptive culture has affected the vocations question in more subtle and powerful ways.

The first of these is in the Catholic boy or girls' experience of marriage and family life. Before the sexual revolution a young man or woman from a Catholic family was likely to have grown up in a large, local extended family. He or she would have been part of a network of brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and parents who all lived within visiting distance. Within that context of a large family the Catholic boy or girl would have seen first hand the joys and sorrows of family life.

If he felt called to the priesthood or religious life a boy would most likely have entered the local diocesan seminary or entered a religious order with houses in his diocese. A girl would most likely have entered a religious house in her locality. They would have lived the celibate life, therefore, within the larger context of that supportive extended family and Catholic culture. In other words, they would be living within community, not just in their religious order or diocesan presbyterate, but within their own natural extended family.

Artificial contraception changed all that. What is called 'Reproductive freedom' allowed women to enter the workplace. Families enjoyed a double income. Increasing affluence and fewer children meant the smaller families were more manageable and less dependent on the extended family. As a result the nature of the American family changed.

The large extended family with all its joys and opportunities was replaced with the American 'nuclear family' in which one man and one woman exist in isolation in a home in the suburbs with 2.5 children, a dog, a cat and a double income. Increased mobility meant that this nuclear family would exist in the same sort of anonymous suburb anywhere in America.

Suddenly being a priest or brother, nun or sister meant you were also isolated, but isolated without the consolation of spouse and small family. Furthermore, the celibate was naturally cut off from all the cozy support systems that proliferate in American suburban life. The old, localized extended family always had room for the spinster aunt, the cousin who was a religious sister or the uncle who was a priest. Who wants a single person at a dinner party, the PTA or the country club--especially a single religious person?

The second thing which has shifted because of artificial contraception is buried more deeply within the observable societal changes. We have experienced a radical shift in the deeper understanding and expectations of marriage. Before the sexual revolution a young Catholic boy or girl would have experienced a family context in which to be a husband or wife, father or mother demanded a natural kind of self sacrifice.

In most families the man would have worked hard to support a wife and many children, and the woman would have given her life in bringing up a large family. Both the man or woman were expected to lay down their lives in a vocation of self sacrifice, and the Catholic young man or woman would have accepted this model of a self sacrificial vocation within marriage to be the norm.

It was within this context of family life that a girls' vocation to the religious life or a boys vocation to religious life or priesthood would have been formed. The young person therefore did not question the demand for a life of self sacrifice. It was assumed that the good life was a life of self sacrifice. The question was therefore, which way of self sacrifice is best for me? Dying to self through marriage and family or dying to self through a religious vocation?

Now, because of artificial contraception the whole basic assumptions and expectations about marriage have shifted. Marriage is no longer a way to give all, but a way to have it all. Therefore, when a young person today considers a religious vocation they must are not choosing between different paths of self sacrifice.

They are choosing between a life that seems to have it all and a life that seems to have nothing. The must choose between a home in the suburbs, 2.5 nice children and a double income or total self denial. The choice is between an understandable form of hedonism or a bizarre way of heroism.

Could it be that one of the solutions to the vocations crisis, therefore, is better marriage preparation? At every opportunity in marriage preparation, RCIA and all forms of catechesis, the true understanding of the sacrament of marriage must be explained, expounded and extolled.

In the face of a culture which overwhelmingly assumes that marriage as an opportunity for self fulfillment, we must remember that to be a Christian means we must take up our cross and follow Christ. At every opportunity we must be reminded that the way to happiness is through service to others and we must therefore never forget that marriage is for giving not for getting.

Once young people who are searching for their vocation come to realize that they must decide to either die to self through marriage or die to self through a religious vocation they will not only become far more realistic about marriage, but they will also view the religious life in a more attractive light.
 
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Fr Dwight Longenecker is parish priest of Our Lady of the Rosary Parish and Chaplain to St Joseph's Catholic School in Greenville, South Carolina. Read his blog and connect to his website at www.dwightlongenecker.com

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