Haunting faces of war - Journalist asks 'where are its victims now'

COLCHESTER, Vt. (Catholic Online) - The fourth anniversary of the Iraqi invasion by U.S. troops is a reminder of another anniversary related to the tragedy of war. March 24 marks the 27th anniversary of the assassination of Salvadoran Archbishop Oscar Romero, who was gunned down in El Salvador while saying Mass.

Both of these anniversaries bring me back 20 years to when I traveled to a war-torn El Salvador as a photojournalist. For the first time in my life, I saw and learned about the consequences of war, hatred and murder, and witnessed poverty first hand. Much of the time on this trip was spent visiting refugee camps in El Salvador and Honduras. These people's lives had been turned upside down by war. They had lost homes, land, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, children, possessions, jobs and communities, and were left living in refugee camps with few belongings. The camps were run to care for these people and plentiful food and availability of medication werre not always options. Shelter was minimal and water available at outside, primitive facilities. The supply of clothing was limited and some children were without shoes, forcing them to walk with bare feet exposed to parasites on the ground. These infections were not uncommon and left untreated medically can cause death. Despite the challenges the refugees faced, they greeted visitors with kindness. Some wanted to share their stories and most open to have their photos taken. Yet, to this day I am haunted by the fact that I "took" photos of people in this uncomfortable situation. Did I do the right thing by invading their space with a camera? I have carried a sense of guilt for photographing the children. Some were sick, was I exploiting them? For 20 years I have been haunted by the faces that I photographed and there are three that stand out. The first, the cherub face of a young girl with big brown, soul bearing eyes that I can never forget. The memory of her eyes still brings tears to mine. Her face reflected pain, while her abdomen swelled with possible disease or malnutrition. We were told that there was no medication available at that time. I do know if she is alive, I certainly hope so. The second, the face of a mother nursing her child, with her skin covered with wounds. Did her wounds heal? Did her child survive? Could she go back to her home? How long did they have to live at the refugee camp? The third face is that of a Jesuit priest, the expression full of hope and kindness. His voice was calming and genuine, his eyes warm and caring and his spirit hopeful. I enjoyed his presentation at the Central American University in San Salvador, El Salvador, and understood that he was among those working for the good of the people. My earth shook when I learned that this special man, Father Ignacio Martin-Baro, was one of the six Jesuit priests that were murdered at the Central American University on Nov. 16, 1989. When I learned of his death, I remembered that I had a photo. Catholic News Service had photos of the other five priests and no photo of him, so I sent them his photo so people could see him and remember him and the tragic end of his vibrant life. When I landed in El Salvador 20 years ago, I was a confident, fearless photojournalist. I left questioning whether or not I should have taken the photos and whether I should continue to take photos. Until this week, the purpose of being a photojournalist has been elusive. But, the reality of the present war and reminders of the murder of Archbishop Oscar Romero and my trip to El Salvador helped me to finally appreciate that photographs provide information to people and can act as reminders that may help people to learn lessons from history and avoid causing more of the same kind of pain and suffering. So I tell my story to remind readers that some of the consequences of war are that families are torn apart, spouses are without partners, children are without parents, families lose their homes, children may be denied education, medical care may be poor, and adults, children and whole communities live in constant fear. I am choosing to share the photo, "Child of War," above to let people know that children are innocent bystanders and they suffer the consequences of war that rob them of a normal childhood. There is a heartbroken feeling inside of me that just doesn't seem to go away, like a wound that might not heal. As I look at the photos and take time remember the people I met, I am reminded of the forgotten gift they gave to me. These people affected by the war had experienced great losses, yet many possessed a spirit and a faith that shined brighter than mine. May I take their gift from 20 years ago, and walk forward with courage, my camera over my shoulder and pen in hand to tell more stories that may inform and act as reminders. - - - Mary Carty is the Home and Family editor of Catholic Online.

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