Hospice caregiver gives care, laughter, focuses on life

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (The Catholic Key) - Jane Hayes sits in her wheelchair near a home oxygen system, taking a breathing treatment and Waiting for Catholic Commuity Hospice caregiver Julie Horton to arrive.

"She takes my blood pressure, checks my heart rate and makes sure I have my important medicines," Hayes, 83, said. "But she does more than that. She laughs with me. I get dressed because Julie's coming to see me. Julie keeps me alive." Horton, a registered and certified palliative care nurse, has had Hayes as a hospice patient for a year. She visits Hayes at her home three days a week, sometimes for just a few minutes, sometimes for several hours, depending on her patient's needs. The length of stay doesn't matter. Horton loves her job and her patients. Horton grew up in Independence, and earned her nursing degree from Park University. Married with three children, the St. Mark parishioner has worked in hospice care for five years, the last two with Catholic Community Hospice. "God must have had a hand in my career," she said. She had left her job with another hospice and was undecided on her next career move. In September 2004 she opened a newspaper and saw an ad for Catholic Community Hospice, sponsored by Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas, and "something clicked in my head and my heart," she recalled. She was hired in mid-interview. Horton said working as a hospice care nurse is more than just a nine-to-five job. "I build relationships with my patients," she said. "However, they aren't cut-and-dried nurse/patient relationships. Here, I know Jane's children, grandchildren and even her great-grandchildren. I pretty much know the whole family." Hayes broke in, "She talks to Tim (her son, a professional musician who helps with her meals). And she likes the dog!" Horton said she was nervous when she first was assigned to be Hayes' nurse, but "over the last year we've become quite a pair. We hang out together, have lunch, and she has influenced me. I take care of her, but she takes care of me in a different way. "People who have been diagnosed with a life-limiting illness and the elderly often find they have little control over their lives. We help them live where they are happiest, provide pain management and palliative care, and focus on life. When the time comes to say goodbye, I'll say it, but not until. Till then, we'll eat, drink and be merry, because it's all about living." "When Julie loses a patient, I can tell," Hayes said. "She doesn't laugh as much. I know I'm not on the list of dying yet. They won't tell me when I'm going to die, but that's OK" Horton said, "Every patient leaves their mark on me. I've had patients for three days who I will never forget, and others I had for three years and never got close to. But there are some who are special. Jane will leave a big hole in my life, but Sister Mary Jo Kennedy ... ," her voice trailed off and she looked away, blinking away tears. Mercy Sister Mary Jo Kennedy, a grief counselor at Nativity Parish, was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer about 18 months ago. In the fall of 2005, she contacted Catholic Community Hospice for care, so she could live at home with her brother and sister-in-law as primary caregivers. Horton was assigned to Sister Kennedy, and helped care for her for about three months until her death earlier this year. "After Sister Mary Jo died, I was devastated," Horton recalled. "I held it together for a while, and then one day I just started to cry and cried all day. I took some time off from work, I wanted to quit. But Jane and the Lord wouldn't let me quit. The Lord put me here for Jane and my other patients. But I'll feel Sister Mary Jo near me always. The three months I took care of her were definitely life changing." Shortly before she became Sister Kennedy's hospice caregiver, Horton and her husband began the process of the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults at St. Mark Church. Horton was already a baptised Catholic, but had never been confirmed. Her husband had not been baptised. During the Easter Vigil at St. Mark, Horton will be confirmed, her husband will receive baptism, first Eucharist and confirmation, and their children will make their first Eucharist. "All my patients are thrilled that I'm becoming a full-fledged Catholic," Horton said with a smile. "Especially Jane here, who has been a member of Visitation Parish for 78 years. Working with Catholic Charities has changed my life. I'll never regret doing this. I get more out of it than I give. I live for each day, and live it to the fullest. My patients taught me that. I see myself in 20 years still working for Catholic Community Hospice and doing the same things at 55 that I do now. "God puts you where he wants you in life. You just have to listen. I can't fathom working anywhere else."

Supporting FREE Catholic Education with Grass-fed Beef

---

This story was made available to Catholic Online by permission of The Catholic Key(www.catholickey.org), official newspaper of the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph, Mo.