There she is, strong & healthy: Miss America 2008 speaks out on eating disorders

Detroit Free Press (MCT) - She poses like a champion, one foot in front of the other, a dazzling _ yet not forced-looking _ smile at the ready.

And even when she's asked the same questions over and over, when she has to shake one more hand, smile for one more picture or when yet another little girl begs to see her sparkly crown, Farmington Hills, Mich., native Kirsten Haglund _ Miss America 2008 _ obliges. After all, she's more than a beauty queen. She's a role model for women, especially those who suffer from eating disorders.

Her mother, Iora Haglund, never thought she'd see her daughter go to college _ let alone be crowned Miss America. Just five years ago, Kirsten Haglund was so sick, so deep in the throes of anorexia, her family had shelved dreams of a normal future and was just trying to get her back to being healthy.

But Haglund managed to overcome it, and is now trying to help others with eating disorders though a nonprofit she started, the Kirsten Haglund Foundation. She is speaking about her reign and her battle with anorexia this week at Faith Covenant Church in Farmington Hills.

"I have to give back," says Haglund, 20. "That's very important to me. We're all given struggles in our lives. We have to use those struggles for good.

"I want to show others that recovery is possible."

Talking about her illness _ and her recovery _ helps her heal and stay on track.

Still, there are good days and bad days, Haglund says. She still struggles with food: What to eat? How much? And she still has days when she doesn't like the way she looks in the mirror. On those days, she talks to her mother, her dietitian, her close friend Julianne Cole, who also is in recovery from anorexia.

But she gets through them, knowing that someone needs to stand up for better treatment options, more awareness about the warning signs and help to take the focus away from the so-called perfect body.

'IT'S NOT PRETTY'

From the time she was a little girl, Haglund wanted to be a ballerina. She took lessons like many little girls do, but for her, it was more than a hobby. It was her life. She felt at home in her leotards and tights, learning the steps and practicing the routines. But it was her beloved ballet that triggered an eating disorder.

While at ballet camp as a 12-year-old girl, Haglund realized she didn't have the typical dancer's body: Short torso, long legs, and thin, thin, thin.

A simple diet might do the trick, the preteen thought. And so she went from a French fry-loving, carefree girl who rarely gave her parents a minute's worry to a sullen, withdrawn teen who refused to eat.

Her parents _ both registered nurses _ didn't realize their daughter had an eating disorder until Haglund was 15. Immediately, they sought treatment from her pediatrician, a dietitian and a therapist. There's a family history of depression and obsessive compulsive disorder. Haglund used to look at herself in the mirror and cry, thinking she was fat. She couldn't sleep and alternated between rage, anger and frustration.

"It was months before she realized how sick she was and then tried to get better," her mother said. "Then, it was another year of getting better. During that entire period of time, I felt like the food police."

There was a lot of anxiety and worry, Iora Haglund said. But as Haglund began to gain weight things got better and easier.

"She's in recovery, and a part of that is learning to cope and be strong," her mother said. "She'll tell you that she couldn't have done any of this without God."

To get healthy, Haglund gave up ballet. She just couldn't find a way to be a ballerina and not have anorexia.

"Everyone needs to be aware and feel uncomfortable about eating disorders," she said. "It's not pretty. It's a mental and physical illness. It still makes me sad. It makes me hate this illness. But I feel grateful to have my life."

OVER THE RAINBOW

She is, as she'll tell you, an unlikely beauty queen.

She got into that pageant circuit on a whim in 2006, entering the Miss Oakland County, Mich., competition with hopes of winning a scholarship to help pay for her tuition at the University of Cincinnati, where she planned to study musical theater.

So she signed up and bought a dress at the local resale shop for the talent portion, where she sang "Adele's Laughing Song" from the operetta "Die Fledermaus."

She won, headed to the 2007 Miss Michigan competition and took the crown.

She couldn't believe she was headed to the Miss America pageant, even though there's a family legacy. Her mother had been involved for several years with the Miss Oakland County Pageant, and her grandmother, Iora Hunt, competed for the title of Miss America as Miss Michigan in 1944.

"We thought maybe she would be in the top 15 or maybe the top 10," said longtime friend Cole.

But as they whittled down the contestants in January 2008, Haglund was a finalist. She performed "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," waved and smiled to her parents and dared to hope for maybe second- or third-runner up.

Haglund went on to take the title with a look of shock on her face and a crown on her head.

"Her win is really phenomenal when you think about the girls in the pageant system and the years they've spent," said her choir teacher and family friend, Greg Cleveland. "She just passed them by and won. But she's real. She's Kirsten."

Cole was happy and proud of her friend, but she also worried. How was Haglund going to handle her beauty queen status and the comments about her looks and body? Would she relapse?

"It's such a difficult recovery," says Cole. "And one of the biggest fears is relapsing. ... But her platform, sharing her story, is a part of her healing process. It's a strength for her. I'll admit. I was pretty skeptical. But she has handled it well. I don't know if I could have done it."

40 STATES AND 2 PRESIDENTS

The win launched Haglund on a yearlong odyssey of appearances and meet-and-greets. She logged 20,000 miles a month on the road, visiting 40 states. She jokes that she got both a bachelor's and a master's degree in personal growth.

While it was at times tiring _ and she still despises airports _ Haglund said her reign was full of mind-blowing moments: She met then-President George W. Bush and sang the national anthem at Opening Day at Comerica Park. And she was in President Barack Obama's inaugural parade.

While she had only two vacations during her reign _ days off at Christmas and Easter, which she spent at home with her family _ Haglund managed to keep in touch with her friends and family through phone calls, text messages and e-mails, missing that face-to-face contact.

She also missed the little things, doing laundry, grocery shopping, sleeping in her own bed.

Haglund crowned a new Miss America in January and launched her foundation in February. The motto is: "Love your body. Rock the world." She's designing jeans with Paige Premium Denim that will be sold to benefit her foundation and has speaking engagements each month through the end of 2009.

She leased an apartment in Los Angeles, where she's auditioning for television shows and movies and hopes to enroll in college next fall. She now wants to study business and take acting classes.

"I really believe in fate," she said. "Everything is falling into place. For a year, it was always Miss America! Miss America! Miss America! And that's worth something, I know. But I'm Kirsten. And that comes first."

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MISS AMERICA 2008: IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT THE CROWN

Miss America 2008, Kirsten Haglund, says she tries to combat the worst stereotypes of pageant winners, including that they are "programmed and only want the title for the glory of the crown." She says she competed to win scholarship money and to raise awareness about eating disorders. Here she answers a few questions about her 12 months as Miss A.

QUESTION: What is your favorite memory from your reign?

ANSWER: Definitely lobbying Congress with the Eating Disorders Coalition in Washington, D.C., last April for the passage of Mental Health Parity. I spoke in the offices of several U.S. congressmen and -women, senators and at a congressional briefing with experts in the field.

Q: Who is the most interesting person you met and why?

A: One of the most inspirational and interesting was probably Patrick Kennedy, the congressman from Rhode Island who has been very open about his struggles with mental illness and chemical addiction.

Q: Favorite place visited?

A: I was able to travel to Boise, Idaho, and I loved it there. It was summer and the most perfect, humidity-free weather; the sun was shining, the people were warm and friendly, the downtown was very green, with lovely European outdoor cafes. The surrounding landscape was beautiful, and there was just a laid-back feel and a sense of peace about the place.

Q: What's something about the position that most people wouldn't know?

A: I don't get a wardrobe allowance. ... I don't travel with an entourage of stylists, makeup artists, assistants. I don't fly first class (and I do not have a private jet). It was just me and my traveling companion.

Q: What's the strangest or quirkiest duty of Miss America?

A: It is so strange to have days named for you! I mean, an honor, to be sure! But I had three Kirsten Haglund Days designated for me.

Q: What are your plans now?

A: Grow the foundation, get other celebrities on the healthy-body image train, continue to speak across the country about this issue and get back into acting training and auditioning!

Q: What will you miss most about being Miss America?

A: My duties as National Goodwill Ambassador for Children's Miracle Network.

Q: What are you going to do with your crown?

A: I haven't decided yet. That thing has a mind of its own! Maybe I'll let the next TSA employee who pulls it out of my carry-on ... keep it.

Q: What's on your iPod?

A: Rachmaninoff. Beyonce. Josh Groban. Pink. 'Evita.' Katy Perry. One Republic. And my latest obsession: Robin Thicke.

Q: What was the one unexpected thing or lesson from your year as Miss America?

A: Time is money. Really.

Q: How has being Miss America changed you?

A: It has given me an incredible amount of confidence that I never had before. In myself, my abilities, my marketability, the value of my ideas and my life experiences. I feel that I have the validation of self and the personal resources to be able to do anything I set my mind to.

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SIGNS OF ANOREXIA

Anorexia has one of the highest death rates of all mental illnesses, with about 10 percent of women dying of anorexia-related causes like starvation or suicide. According to the Academy of Eating Disorders, anorexia has a higher risk of death than depression, schizophrenia or alcoholism.

Some warning signs:

Dramatic weight loss

Preoccupation with food

Refusal to eat a certain category of food

Denial of hunger

Developing rituals like rearranging food on a plate

Rigid or excessive exercise regimen

Withdrawal from friends or favorite activities

Academy of Eating Disorders

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EATING DISORDER IS AN ILLNESS, NOT A CHOICE

Ten million U.S. women and 1 million men struggle with an eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia, according to the National Eating Disorders Association.

Eating disorders are mental illnesses with often serious physical ramifications, like heart abnormalities, bone loss and tooth decay. Anorexia is when a person refuses to eat and actually starves. Bulimia is when a person overeats and then induces vomiting. People with these disorders use food and the control of food to help deal with emotions like low self-esteem, depression or anxiety.

There are many reasons why a person develops an eating disorder. It's not, experts say, about wanting to be thin _ although that can be a factor.

"It's not a choice," said Kathleen McDonald, education and prevention coordinator and policy assistant for the Eating Disorders Coalition. "It's a serious mental illness."

Some researchers believe there are biological or genetic causes, as eating disorders can run in families. Eating disorders can occur in any race, sex, age or socioeconomic level.

And all eating disorders require medical and mental health treatment. For help, visit www.nationaleatingdisorders.org or www.aedweb.org.

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© 2009, Detroit Free Press.