A recovery plan for families of addicts and alcoholics

WASHINGTON (CNS) - When someone with a drug or alcohol problem decides to get treatment, that's good news. But it is not the end of the story. What can families, friends and coworkers expect during and after treatment for substance abuse?

"The biggest issue for all significant others is that they be aware of what the continuing care plan is," says Bill Morgan. "The plan will have accountability built into it," such as attending meetings and no further drinking or drug use, he adds. Morgan is director of Guest House, a treatment program for priests, deacons, seminarians and brothers in Rochester, Minn. "Face the truth, learn the facts, build a healthy home environment," Morgan advises. "Remember that alcohol and other kinds of addiction are progressive diseases and won't be overcome in a moment. It's a long, hard process. As a general rule of thumb it takes a couple of years," he says. "One misperception alcoholics and addicts have is that being in treatment is going to make everything OK," Morgan says. When someone goes into treatment "families can expect anger, depression, self-pity." He notes that there is a surprisingly high divorce rate after treatment, perhaps because changes in the recovering person, as well as changes in friends and family, are not what each person hoped for. "My mentor used to tell me you can take a drunken horse thief and sober him up. Then all you've got is a sober horse thief," Morgan says. Morgan says family and supporters of people in recovery should keep a few "don'ts" in mind: - "Don't get into punishment, bribes or threats to get them to quit.
- "Don't hide or dump their supply.
- "Don't take on excessive responsibility.
- "Don't cover up for the problem; that will weaken the alcoholic's resolve to change.
- "Don't drink with the alcoholic.
- "Don't demand or accept unrealistic promises." What physical side effects should family and friends expect when someone stops drinking? Morgan cites "a craving for sweets that lasts a couple of months; sleep issues, which can be long-term; and irritability and mood changes, which should subside after a month." Most physical symptoms of withdrawal from drugs such as sweats, shakes and nausea can be managed by hospitalization or medication, he says. These symptoms can last a couple of days or weeks. After this phase, a certain degree of accountability is possible between the alcoholic or addict and the family. There is a spiritual side to recovery, too. Morgan says that spirituality is "the ability through attitudes and actions to relate to others, to ourselves and to God. It is important for recovering people to put their lives on a positive spiritual basis: to move from fear to trust, from self-pity to gratitude, resentment to acceptance, dishonesty to honesty." Anne Sutherland, who works as an addiction therapist with women religious at Guest House in Lake Orion, Mich., says there are three ideas families and supporters need to accept: "They didn't cause the problem, can't control it and can't cure it." Sutherland recommends Al-Anon for anyone who has a close relationship with an addict or alcoholic because it is "a support group that may continue for a long time, depending on how pervasively the addiction has affected their lives." Al-Anon gives people the "skills of how to live, not how to live with an addicted person, but how to cope with the impact that addiction has on their lives," Sutherland says. Addiction is a physical illness that is going to happen even if a family is happy and free," Sutherland explains. "Families need a recovery plan too." The Web site for Guest House, which is affiliated with the National Catholic Council on Alcoholism and Related Drug Problems, is www.nccatoday.org.

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Copyright (c) 2007 Catholic News Service/U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops