Holiday gift riddle - How to have Christmas you always dreamed of

COLCHESTER, Vt. (Catholic Online) - What present is the most valuable gift in the world, costs nothing and cannot be purchased with plastic or pure gold? A clue: The answer is in the question.

u>The answer: Be in the present moment with others. For weeks and even months people has been rushing around with their Christmas list shopping for gifts of all shapes and sizes costing from a few dollars to thousands. In this midst of this whirlwind shopping, there is that nagging thought, "Did I forget someone, an important someone?" Chances are that one important someone may not be on the gift list. That someone is God, the creator of the true gift of Christmas giving Christians this season to celebrate. Yet, how could God be included on the Christmas gift list? What possible gift could be given to this unseen being? The gift of being present in the moment while trying to live by the teachings of the church is a way to be open to the presence of God. As wonderful as material gifts may be, they cannot hold a candle to sharing the gift of presence on Christmas Day and Christmas Eve. Christmas is a day that lends itself to many opportunities to increase a spiritual connection. A few actions that can be used as spiritual tools are prayer, meditation, showing gratitude, sharing and feeling the love of family and friends and attending Mass. This gift of being in the present is difficult to give. It means being aware of situations friends and family are dealing with in their lives and then making the time and expending the energy to actively participate in the day. The beauty of the gift is that it creates a way to more fully experience the gifts of the day, can improve the way that we relate to others and is a fitting gift to God. Among some of the ways we can take actions the keep us in the moment and think thoughts that can keep us in the day are: Prayer. A simple prayer of thanks and of asking for guidance is the perfect way to being the day. "God, thank you for the many gifts you give each and every day. Help me to live this day in the spirit of the prayer of St. Francis, as your instrument of peace, tolerance, forgiveness and love. Attend Mass. The Mass on Christmas Day in many parishes have a richer experience of sacred music and the readings of the scriptures about the coming of Christ in our world and our lives. Show gratitude at mealtime. From breakfast to a late night snack, give thanks for the food, the people that prepared the food and the people present to share the food. Grace - either formal or spontaneously offered - at each meal is a way to actively connect with God and others. Create an orderly unwrapping tradition. Suggest that people take turns opening gifts one at a time. This avoids confusion and lets people see and appreciate the gifts being given and the time taken to find that present. Rather than have moments of pure chaos with everyone tearing open their own gifts, oblivious to everyone else, people can more likely experience the joy of giving and receiving. Be aware of time. A bit of business-like time management may be a worthwhile Investment. Since there may be many activities ranging from opening gifts at home to visiting another household and/or preparing the food for one or more of the day's or days' meals, creating a tentative schedule lets everyone know where they will be and what the time schedule looks like. This may sound a bit serious, but kids may not understand when and why they must leave favorite place, and, if the family stays too long in one place, why they may cause hard feeling at the next stop. Set an acknowledge those that passed before in the context of the day. Cherish memories of the past. However, do not compulsively dwell of loss or illness, because that kind of thinking can cast a negative cloud on the day. It is probably better to adapt the phrase "living in the day" as opposed to "living in the past." Yes, it is normal to feel some sadness about losses, but to dwell on how much one misses a departed person casts a negative energy on their thinking and may affect others as well. Talk with and listen to all of the people at the gathering. The key here is listening. To really listen to others is to give them the great gift of respect. Christmas is a great time to let people know how much you appreciate them being in your life. Create positive and supportive conversations. Find opportunities to give praise for other peoples accomplishments and thanks for what they have done during the past year. Avoid negative conversation. Gossiping and criticizing can only cast a shadow on the day. Practice tolerance and forgiveness. If family conflicts have occurred in the past, choose to let go of resentment. If conflicts occur during the day, choose to handle them in the most adult way. Cut kids some slack, they may not have had much sleep, maybe wished they could have stayed home and might have post-candy/sugar syndrome. Avoid wishing for what is not possible. Thoughts like, I wish everyone could be here and then let that disappointment get in the way of enjoying the day. In a perfect world everyone would be with who they wanted to be with. But distance and other commitment does not make that possible. So the alternative is to connect with those people that are away by phone and/or gifts. Let them know how much you care and wish they could be there. Then, enjoy the people that are with you. Take photographs. Capture 'present' moments with the magic of a camera enables a person to really focus on moments and be connected others in a special way. They can then give the lasting gift of photographic images off that Christmas day. Choose to take positive actions. Getting involved with activities like helping prepare the meal, playing games, calling relatives and/or friends that live elsewhere, singing some Christmas carols or dancing not only ensure being in the present, but automatically connect with others. Avoid isolating activities. Taking a long run, daydreaming or being glued to the TV for a big football or basketball game may bring personal enjoyment, but block the possibility of being totally present to others. To be present to God and others with an attitude of gratitude and love can only make Christmas the day the best it can be. And when the end of the day comes and it is time to go to sleep, one can reflect on the many gifts of the day and give thanks to God who made everything possible. - - - Mary Carty is the Home and Family editor of Catholic Online.

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