Wrestling with the Human Teenage Brain

Christopher is finally giving his guardian angel a break

Christopher, our oldest, has come such a long way. At 22, he is serving his country as a soldier in the United States Army. Jim and I are incredibly proud of how he has grown in spirit, mind and body over the last 18 months. He has a plan for his life and is motivated to take the steps necessary to fulfill that plan. Trust me, this is progress I measure in leaps nad bounds, not inches and feet.

NASHVILLE, TN - While he still gives his guardian angel a run for his money, I believe that guardian angel has more time to rest, reflect, pray and prepare in between what I like to call 'Christopher moments." I heard once that the part of the human brain that considers consequences (the frontal lobe), does not fully develop until age 25. I did a little research and confirmed that very fact.

Evidently the frontal lobe is not fully connected until the mid-20s. The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that that asks, "Is this a good idea? What is the consequence of this action?"  The teens have a frontal lobe, but they access it more slowly than adults. Teens don't have the myelin that adults have. That is the fatty coating, or white matter that connects the nerve cells in the frontal lobe with the rest of the brain. Myelin allows the nerve signals to flow freely.

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Developmentally, teens and early 20-somethings are not at the place where they are concerned about (or even thinking of) the consequences of their behavior.

"Thanks for the lesson in neurological science, Shelly, but why tell us about it now?" If your children are older, you're hopefully laughing to yourself and fondly remembering all the bad choices your children made as teenagers (or early 20-somethings). If you are like me, then your family is currently entrenched in the reality that is the teenage brain. If you have younger children, then just consider this free information that you can shove into the back of your brain. Actually, it goes to your cerebrum I think (see how much I learned while researching the human brain?)

"Oh," you're saying to yourself. "One of Shelly's children made an unfortunate choice and we get to reap the benefits."

Exactly! Put yourself in my Missouri front yard exactly two years ago...

Long story short, our oldest decided it would be fun to "wrestle" in the front yard with some friends.

Christopher, who is apparently more competitive than I gave him credit for - but selectively competitive - went into "win at all cost" mode. The cost? A trip to the emergency room when his hands, feet and nose went numb.

Two CT scans (neck and chest), three tubes of blood drawn, and who knows how many hundreds or thousands of dollars later, Christopher was released. And yes, we later had a discussion about what that choice cost in terms of lost work hours for me and for him, and in terms of actual money.

I was able to find many blessings that emerged from the whole day/evening. First, Christopher is physically fine. Mentally, I won't be convinced until he hits 25 and I see some evidence that the frontal lobe has fully developed. Second, I think this was a good lesson for Christopher and his buddies. If they're smart, they'll remember how scared they were when this occurred, and they won't repeat that choice of activity. Oh, wait, that still goes back to the whole undeveloped frontal lobe thing. I just pray Christopher didn't damage his cerebrum that day.that controls long-term memory don't ya know?

His buddy that made the unfortunate choice to "wrestle" Christopher that day (I keep putting that word in quotations, because in actual wrestling, choke holds are illegal), was scared out of his mind. He tried to take full responsibility for the incident and apologized at least 52 times in six hours. This is what I told him:

"The part of the brain that thinks about things like consequence doesn't fully develop until you're 25. You both made bad choices today, but the good news is you're normal!"

I know it's not that comforting to parents, but I figure sometimes our children go through just such experiences so if and when their children attempt such activities, they'll have a true story to back up the words, "Because I said so."

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