The Art of Receiving

To give without expecting anything in return is lovely...but how are you at receiving?

How good are you at receiving? Not as in professional football, and not as in birthday or Christmas gifts. I'm talking receiving as in sincere compliments and unexpected blessings.things like that. I was never a good receiver and I never really gave it much thought. I suppose I was afraid of what others might think of me if I so much as thought of graciously receiving someone else's sincere wishes or aid.

NASHVILLE, TN - 'Oh, no! Honestly, we'll be fine, and I could never accept that,' I remember telling a perfectly sweet woman in a Quincy McDonald's many years ago. My children (probably 1, 2 and 3 at the time) were all very restless and we were waiting for my husband to arrive before scarfing things like cheeseburgers and fries. We had to wait.I didn't have any money. The woman purchased some fries anyway, three small bags for the kids. I felt completely embarrassed and humiliated, although today I realize how totally silly and selfish I behaved.

That incident was the last time I really ever gave gracious receiving a second thought until a couple of months ago. I am a part of a retreat committee that meets on Thursday evenings. One evening our leader gave us an assignment.pay it forward. Do something small for someone else. As you're walking through the mall, don't look down at your shoes, look up and smile at passers by. When you're in line at a drive-thru, pay for the person behind you. Tell someone who looks down in the dumps that they look especially nice. Little things mean a lot.

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Evidently, little things are harder to accept than the big things. I mean, really. Would you give it a second thought if your mom, dad, husband or wife spent a couple of hundred or even thousand dollars for a Christmas gift? Maybe not. But accept a gesture of kindness from a stranger that cost a mere$7.50? Heaven forbid!

I'll give two very specific examples. First, my friend, Cheryl, also a member of this committee, took the assignment to heart and went through the drive-thru at Krispy Kreme donuts. She told the person at the window that she wanted to buy a dozen donuts for the person behind her in line. The poor cashier just didn't get it. Cheryl actually had to go inside the donut shop and explain her mission not only to the cashier, but to the manager! It was almost more trouble than it was worth.

And just the other day I decided to bring a book to a sandwich shop and have a leisurely lunch. I ordered my lunch as the woman next to me dug through her purse to find her wallet and pay for her order. She must have left her wallet at work.

"Do you take checks?" she asked the cashier with a panicked look on her face. "Sorry, I can't do that," he replied.

The woman, clearly embarrassed, called out for her friend, who was on the other side of the
restaurant, searching for a table.

I pulled a $20 out of my wallet, winked at the cashier, and handed him the money.

"Ma'am?" he called after the woman, who was walking away to find her friend. "It's covered."

"What?" she asked. "Oh, no! Really, I can't let you do that."

"Of course you can," I said. "Have a great day."

"No, really, I can't," she repeated.

"It's done," I said. "Just have a blessed day."

"What's your name?" she asked.

"My name is Shelly," I said.

"Shelly..what?"

"Just Shelly."

"I need your address," she said.

"No you don't," I said. "Just please accept this and have a wonderful day."

She proceeded to tell her friend and asked me again for my address. I politely declined.

Why is it so hard for people to accept these simple acts of sincerity? I guess maybe because we don't take the time to do them on a regular basis. I learned my "receiving" lesson a few years ago, and I hope this sweet lady learned the same lesson yesterday.

So do me a favor this summer. In the midst of rushing and running, take the time to breathe in slowly. Be thankful for what you have, walk with your head held high and smile at everyone you see. And if the opportunity presents itself, pay it forward. Do me a bigger favor, if someone decides you should be a pay it forward recipient, be a gracious receiver.

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