God said...and I listened

How often do you see yourself in your children?

I received an e-mail from my friend, and newspaper photographer, Ray Rockwell this morning. It was titled, 'God said 'No.' I'd seen it before, but I decided I might need to read it again. Here's a small part of the text:

LOS ANGELES, CA - I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No. I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

Pray with your new Rosary

It kind of brings you down to earth or maybe a little closer to heaven. But this column isn't so much about the e-mail as it is about timing. You see, last night I called my daughter up to bed. She took a little longer than usual, so I opened the door and called her again. And in the interest of full disclosure, I wasn't happy, so I yelled her name. (This next verbal exchange just cannot be accurately described in print, so you'll have to realize that my background is southern, and when we southerners get emotional, we tend to add extra letters and syllables to a conversation.)

"Sa-yam!" I called quite loudly.

"I aaaa-yum!" she yelled back, and with quite the attitude. There are a couple of things I simply refuse to accept in our house. Lying and attitude. So what does a 43 year-old mother do? Give the attitude right back, of course (mistake, big mistake).

"I can SEE that!"

"Well, excuuuuuuuse me!" Sam said, walking up the stairs. "But Daddy asked me to bring my art box and papers up earlier today, and I asked if I could wait until tonight, and he said, fine, but if you forget then you'll be grounded for a couple of days.so THAT is what I'm doing!" She said this all in one breath and with every ounce of attitude an 13 year-old girl could muster.I won't tell you what came next. Suffice it to say I blew a gasket, and raised my voice much more than I should.

I apologized this morning, but it must have been too little, too late. Sam felt betrayed, and she was playing the angry daughter act to the hilt. She wouldn't speak to me unless I asked her a question, and then it was a one-word answer.

I giggled inside after I dropped the kids off at school this morning. I told each of them to have a great day and that I loved them. The boys answered.Sam just exited the van as quickly as possible.

I wasn't worried, though. I know my daughter. Chances are she'll be in a much better mood this afternoon. She might even hug me and apologize herself. How do I know all this? Because I was the exact same way when I was her age. Does it hurt that she refuses to speak to me? A little. But instead of continuing the game that I started (and shouldn't have), by being rude and obnoxious, I am choosing to love her through her anger. I should have chosen that path last night, and I told her that earlier this morning. I don't mind apologizing to my kids if I've done something that I shouldn't. They need to see that at 40-something, I still have a lot to learn, and every step brings me a little closer to God.

Still, when the phone rang this morning at 7:40 a.m., I giggled."Wouldn't it be poetic and perfect if this was Sam on the phone?" I asked Fritz (our dachshund). "Wouldn't it be great if she had to speak to me because she forgot something that she absolutely had to have in school today?"

God said, "O.K., Shelly, I'll throw you a bone."

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