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Here are some tips on how to keep people going to the movies in tough times

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I was thinking about the economy this morning, wondering whether I'll be able to afford to eat wet cat food instead of dry cat food during my retirement.

Highlights

By Barry Koltnow
McClatchy Newspapers (www.mctdirect.com)
10/13/2008 (1 decade ago)

Published in Movies

The Orange County Register (MCT) - In the middle of these self-indulgent meanderings, I remembered that I still have a job, and that job requires me to think about Hollywood.

It's difficult not to mingle thoughts of the downward spiral of the economy with ordinary work thoughts, so I started to ponder how Hollywood might fare during the Great Depression of '09?

Judging from the last Great Depression, and only a fool would ignore the lessons of the past, I think we can look forward to a number of interesting developments, in both filmmaking and film presentation, if only Hollywood would heed my advice.

For instance:

LOWER TICKET PRICES: With rising production costs and escalating star salaries, it seems almost inconceivable that ticket prices would ever be lowered. But theater chains, and the studios that supply their product, would be fools not to listen to me. Movies thrived during the Great Depression because they were an inexpensive form of entertainment. This was long before television was invented, and movies were a bargain at 15 cents or a quarter for a ticket. With free TV now an option (premium channels will be considered a luxury item during a depression), the movie industry better come up with a response or else. And, while we're on the subject of movie theaters, there is no room for $5 tubs of popcorn during a financial crisis. Everyone will sneak in their own snacks from home.

FIND A NEW SHIRLEY TEMPLE: The mop-topped entertainer, and future United Nations ambassador, is fondly remembered as one of the saviors of the nation's psyche during the Great Depression. She literally lifted the spirits of an entire country (if not the world) with her infectious smile, adorable dancing and acting and her general good nature. Studios should be scouring local beauty contests and talent competitions to find their new cash cow.

YET ANOTHER KING KONG REMAKE: Didn't we just have one, you might ask? Yes, we did. But King Kong goes over well in a Great Depression because it's not really about a giant ape. It's more about a desperate young woman who will do anything to eat. And that's pretty much the attitude most of us will be having in a few months.

FEWER MUSICALS: Busby Berkeley had a successful career during the 1930s because he was able to make people forget their troubles for a couple of hours while they watched beautiful people dance on lavish movie sets. I question whether people will pay to see people dance in the movies when they can watch people dance on TV for nothing.

MORE SCREWBALL COMEDIES:"It Happened One Night," the 1934 Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert comedy, is generally acknowledged to have started this subspecies in the comedy genre. Screwball comedies, which combine farcical situations with clever banter, thrived during the Great Depression, and could make a comeback, if only Hollywood could find another Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. Trust me, Kim Kardashian is no Claudette Colbert.

MORE MOVIES ABOUT RICH PEOPLE: Specifically, movies about rich people going broke. While there will always be a market for glimpses into the lives of the rich and famous, people would rather see the privileged classes take it on the chin.

MORE GANGSTER MOVIES: They blossomed during the Great Depression and my own take is that regular folks, while not dishonest by nature, envy the get-rich-quick philosophy of the gangster lifestyle. Of course, Hollywood will have the same problem as in the screwball comedies. Where are they going to find more Jimmy Cagneys, Humphrey Bogarts and Edward G. Robinsons?

FEWER HORROR MOVIES: Also a staple of the Great Depression _ think Frankenstein, Dracula and the Wolfman. I'm not sure what their appeal was during tough times. These days, what passes for horror movies are slasher flicks and the "Saw" movies, which are about being manipulated by unseen forces. We all feel manipulated by unseen forces these days so perhaps horror movies won't seem like much of an escape.

REMAKE "THE GRAPES OF WRATH": The 1940 film is regarded as the greatest movie ever made about the Great Depression. Some smart studio executive should look for another Henry Fonda to utter those classic Tom Joad lines: "Wherever there's a fight, so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beating up a guy, I'll be there. I'll be there in the way guys yell when they're mad. I'll be there in the way kids laugh when they're hungry, and they know supper's ready. When the people are eating the stuff they raise, and living in the houses they build, I'll be there."

Knowing how Hollywood works, it'll probably be an animated pig playing Tom Joad.

___

Barry Koltnow: bkoltnow@ocregister.com

___

© 2008, The Orange County Register (Santa Ana, Calif.).

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