Witless Protection

NEW YORK (CNS) - At one point in "Witless Protection" (Lionsgate), a character informs the film's star that his humor is "feeble, juvenile and bigoted." We couldn't have said it better ourselves.

When Larry Stalder (Larry the Cable Guy), a headstrong rural sheriff's deputy, observes Madeleine Dimkowski (Ivana Milicevic), an elegant heiress, being escorted through his town, seemingly against her will, by a group of men in black suits, his suspicions are aroused. So what does he do but kidnap her himself.

Even after learning that the men are FBI officers, led by Special Agent Alonzo Moseley (Yaphet Kotto), Larry refuses to release Madeleine, who's under witness protection, on the grounds that the G-men have not been following proper procedure. (Larry has ambitions to join the FBI himself and has virtually memorized their regulations.)

Instead he insists on driving his hostage to the Chicago trial where she's due to testify against her wealthy former boss, Arthur Grimsley (Peter Stormare). To get there, however, they'll have to elude Wilford Duvall (Eric Roberts), the shady security guard Grimsley has hired to bring her back to the Windy City.

This generally crude and lowbrow comedy, as directed by Charles Robert Carner, succeeds in being funny about once every 15 minutes, which makes this journey to Chi-town one long, tedious trek.

The film contains much crass and crude language, three uses of profanity, frequent sexual and scatological humor, partial male nudity, ethnic stereotyping and an obscene gesture. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification is A-III -- adults. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG-13 -- parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

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Copyright (c) 2007 Catholic News Service/U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops