Meet the Spartans

NEW YORK (CNS) -- "Meet the Spartans" (20th Century Fox), a parody of 2007's "300," sets out to conquer audiences by satirizing everything from "American Idol" to Gatorade. But this always childish and often crude comedy limps more than it marches.

The story will be familiar to fans of last year's Zack Snyder epic: Leonidas (Sean Maguire), the king of Sparta, has endured the tough upbringing characteristic of that realm, which here includes being whacked in the back with a metal chair by his father. He has found a suitable mate in lovely if flirtatious Queen Margot (Carmen Electra), and all seems well under his tranquil rule.

Trouble starts, however, when Xerxes (Ken Daitian), the aggressive ruler of Persia, sends emissaries to demand Sparta's submission. Should they refuse, he threatens to annihilate the city. Vastly outnumbered, Leonidas nonetheless determines to resist, gathering a select band of the kingdom's hardiest warriors.

Instead of a traditional battle, the struggle between the two kings takes the form of a series of insult contests ("Yo mamma's so fat ..."), "stepping"-style dance competitions and efforts to see who can make the most of blue-screen special effects. Pop culture references abound, from Britney Spears shaving her head to Lindsay Lohan emerging from a rehab clinic.

Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer's film lacks both taste and coherence, wandering from one dubious sexual or scatological gag to the next. There is barely enough genuine humor for a skit, much less a full-length movie.

Though hale, these Spartan fellows are not especially well met.

The film contains rear male and partial female nudity, much crass and crude language, sexual and bathroom humor. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification is L -- limited adult audience, films whose problematic content many adults would find troubling. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG-13 -- parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

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Copyright (c) 2007 Catholic News Service/U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops