Are You Walking With A Spiritual Limp?

Today is the celebration of The Last Supper. So, recline yourself at table with Jesus and the Apostles. Sit beside Jesus so that you can feel His shoulder brush against yours. Listen intently to His words, hear the tone of His voice. Watch His movements, His expressions, as He raises the chalice and transforms simple bread and wine into His Body and Blood. Know that you are truly in Christ's Presence. If there are obstacles between you and Him, or between you and His Father or His Holy Spirit, let them be stripped away in the confessional. Let them drop to the floor like crumbs to be swept up and discarded.

ZEBULLON, NC (Catholic Online) - Did you ever have a problem that you didn't even realize you had? Like stinky feet or bad breath, no, not that kind of problem. Those kinds of maladies usual illicit someone's notation. But, sometimes we can suffer from a dilemma without ever realizing its existence and impact on our lives. From childhood traumas to youthful heart breaks to adult disappointments, we can bear the invisible scars throughout a lifetime. Like an old sports injury, they can impede our present actions, cripple our faith.

Long aware that my personal relationships have been influenced by the scabs on my heart, I was oblivious to the spiritual limp I'd developed. Sitting in my priest's office, I was crying out my trials to Father when he made a subtle, gentle observation. Asking about my daddy-daughter bond, he explained that we often see and relate to God, our Divine Daddy, in terms of our earthly fathers. We place on God the same judgments we place on our worldly dads. Expect from God the same reactions and temperaments we've been conditioned to expect from our papas. Wow and ouch! My father and I have had a tense, on-off, relationship for as far back as I have memories. In truth, his own daddy-son bond was shattered.

As Father related the correlation between our heavenly and earthly dads, I became distinctly aware of the limp in my gait. At the same time that I was attempting to run to my Lord for consolations and assistance in bearing my crosses, my spiritual legs were holding me back.

What I'd perceived as an inability to pray was in truth a distorted perception of God's ability to hear.  Judging God, the Father, in terms of Old Testament wrath, I'd overlooked that He is the God of agape, of mercy, of compassion. The Father Who'd heard Moses' argument in defense of a hard-hearted people and withdrew His hand of correction. The Father Who gave His only begotten Son in reparation for our countless sins. God Who loves unconditionally, forever. He who forgives without reserve, without harboring grudges. His Fatherhood is unbreakable, our childhood unseverable.

Around the same time that my priest had unveiled my handicap, my spiritual director created a visualization that has been etched into my mind ever since.  He placed me on the lap of God, my Father. He told me how loved I was, called me God's little princess. How awesome is God that He knew my impediment and placed people in my path who could heal that wound.

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He wants to heal you, too.

That mental picture has become a refuge, a source of regeneration. Now and again, I climb into my heavenly Dad's lap, rest my head on His firm breast, slip my little hand into His secure grasp and accept His tender kiss on my forehead. We talk very little, although He'd listen all day. He's restored my brokenness, eagerly embraced me like the father of the prodigal son. He needed only for me to recognize my poverty, so that He could restore my gait and meet me halfway down the path to our reunion.

Today is the celebration of The Last Supper. So, recline yourself at table with Jesus and the Apostles. Sit beside Jesus so that you can feel His shoulder brush against yours. Listen intently to His words, hear the tone of His voice. Watch His movements, His expressions, as He raises the chalice and transforms simple bread and wine into His Body and Blood. Know that you are truly in Christ's Presence. If there are obstacles between you and Him, or between you and His Father or His Holy Spirit, let them be stripped away in the confessional. Let them drop to the floor like crumbs to be swept up and discarded.

Today, you are invited to The Supper of The Lamb. Your spot has been reserved, your chair is empty and cannot be filled by any other. Come, join the Lord. Let nothing get in your way and if your want to run to Him is slowed by some old injury, limp to Him. He will heal your spiritual wounds, restore the vigor of your faith.

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Tara K. E. Brelinsky is a home schooling mother of seven living children, with six more heavenly ones who intercede (and a little soul expected to arrive in August). Married to her childhood sweetheart, they make their home in North Carolina where they teach Natural Family Planning, grow a garden, raise two dogs, a cat, a fish, ducks, roosters and a flock of hens (in addition to all those wonderful kids). Tara studied journalism a lifetime ago in college, but now she writes simply for the the glory of God. You can read more of her musings and inspirations on her blog "Blessings In Brelinskyville" (www.http://brelinskyville.blogspot.com/).

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